There are times when some things happen in our lives and they flush us up and make us scramble.
Flood of tears and grief break through your barriers and causes you to lament.
Some times it makes you stay awake in the dreadful night and you will be left alone in your thoughts, but with all these and all the misery and anguish the storm will always come and go.
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In 2015, while in boarding school, I faced my studies with full concentration in a bid to ensure I pass out with flying colours. I'm that girl with a big dream, and I'm always working towards making dreams become realities. But I have a problem which at times tends to make me want to change my mind, all I will always tell myself is that "Mary you can do it, never give up". I find it difficult to understand this subject because without it, I will not be able to go for a science course.
I battled with mathematics, I tried all my possible best to break the barrier, but the more I tried the more I became more woeful in my workings, and this caused me a lot of pain that made me always ask myself "why can't I do this? others are doing it, why me in this situation?". I always lamented
One day, during break time, my mathematics teacher called and said to me "Mary, I've been longing to tell you this, it all about your mathematics"
That moment, my heart skipped listening to her talking about my performance in this particular subject because deep within me I knew I had performed woefully in the last exam.
"If you know you can't cope with mathematics, why Don't you change your field of study, instead of wasting your time in science class, I know you are good in other subjects, but you are going nowhere without mathematics, you're are such a dullard, it is better you change and look for any simple course you can cope with"
She left after saying this, at that moment I felt really miserable, my legs became too heavy for me to carry "she just called me a dullard" I thought within my self, standing still, at the same point where my teacher left me, my friend Gracias came to me and asked me "Mary what's wrong? Why are you standing here and lost in thought?" I could not answer her.
I managed to follow her to our hostel room, that night I could not sleep, everything turned dark and blue, and all alone in my thoughts again, with my face bent on my knees, I wept like I had never done before. I thought of how I could make a change, negative thoughts about giving up kept springing as I thought about what the teacher told me, but I said to myself "I will never give up on my dream". I made a determination deep within me during that night that I didn't know when I slept off.
I woke up the next morning which was a Saturday, there was not going to be any lesson, I cleaned my room and kept everywhere tidy, after eating my meal, I prepared myself and went to the library to read my books. I read for some hours and at 4 pm at noon I went back home, I continued in this act of reading and studying, but I paid more attention to my mathematics.
At night I always burned the midnight candle to study mathematics, I won't sleep until I make sure I did all my workings and the assignment given to me. I did this for almost three months. Gradually, I began to improve in mathematics.
One day the same maths teacher that condemned me called me and said "Mary, I was so surprised when I saw your mathematics script, you performed excellently, you're becoming a more brilliant girl" at that moment I was filled with joy, happiness was written all over me.
I passed out of school with flying colours and as a first-class Student, I have become excellent in mathematics till this very moment. I was given an award as the Best Student in mathematics, I was elated and filled with enthusiasm and I said deep within me with a smile "it is not over until it's over".
Never give up on your dreams no matter the challenges you might be facing, don't make it to be over, you have to decide for yourself, you are the architect of dreams, you should build yourself the way you desire it.
What people say you are doesn't matter, but what you call yourself is what matters the most, the teacher called me a dullard, but I did not see myself as a dullard, I worked on my dream and I came, I saw and conquered.
Just be determined and work on yourself, and you will know that all things are possible.even if the whole world did not believe in you, believe in yourself, Don't be weight down with your challenges, if you truly want something why not go for it, but the question remains.....
Are you willing to pay the price?, if you pay the price with all the night candle you're burning, going through all the ups and down in life , believe me , you will definitely get the prize
Thanks for not missing a comma.
Posted on read.cash and re-edited for hive
Image 1 edited on canva.com