This topic is actually timely. I mean this thought is something I've been battling with for a while now. I'm starting to see and question some individuals about it, if this is all about them, what they can get, or if they actually value me or the bond we share.
Some people will only remember you when they need something, that is when you will see them in your DM, that is when they will say they are only checking in on you only to find them billing you in the next conversation. And guess what, when the help is no longer needed,when you're not able to help, or after you've helped, they go silent again.
And I'm not saying this applies to everyone who check in on you. I check in on people a lot too. And there are some who actually checks in on me too, they are doing it genuinely. Some of them after pestering me and asking how everything is would later be the one to even later offer to help. It's now left for me to either accept or decline. So, even when they have nothing to give and I have nothing to offer as well, they are there. That is genuineness, and that is what real relationship should be like. It shouldn't be about what's in it for me? That's selfishness and it shows you don't even value, care, or love the person, you're only there for whatever might come your way.
And one of the ways I believe helps to know a person for who they really are is when you stop doing everything they ask for? When you stop being useful to them... What do they do? Do they still check in? Do they go distant? Do they notice your absence? Do they still care and love you even when you cannot be of help to them?
There's a difference between being needed and being loved. And you can mistaken one for the other. A person who need you will only value your money, advice, kindness and your ability to always be there for them, they won't value the you.
But when you're valued and loved for you, that is the game changer. You tend to enjoy such relationship more, because they will always be there for you even when you have absolutely nothing to offer. I say that because one day, you will have nothing to offer, maybe then you will see how alone you really are, but if you have someone who still sees you and value you even when you may not be able to give anything, then hold them dear too.
馃尮
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