So, I had a time in my life when I almost broke. There were deadlines to meet up with, there were lectures to attend, tests, assignments and the likes were all there. Each time I wake up, am always tired, even with that I would still try force a smile and go about my day so no one would notice how I drained, tired and pressured I was. No one knew I was fighting not just with my mind, but my body too.
I had been battling with stomach upset, sleepless nights and the likes, I thought it was just due to the stress, late night food and the likes, but then, my body won't stop giving me this warnings....I began experiencing short breaths, my heartbeat wasn't normal and I felt discomfort all around me. But then, as a guy, I tried to keep going and just push through. I don't want to bother anyone, and I don't want to look weak. I believe everyone has something he/she is going through, still, we all act fine, so, I should just act it.
But it happened that it was too much for my body to handle, I began vomiting and fainted one day, I couldn't hear what anybody was saying, those voices, screamings and all began to fade, and then, everything went blank. By the time I woke up, I was already in the hospital, a nurse was there attending to me, immediately she saw I was awake, she greeted me with a smile, placed her hands on mine and said, "Our body has limits, you can't compare yourself to everyone else, yours has it's own limit, learn to take time of to rest, else it will force you to." That particular word refused to leave me, it was that word that changed how I saw life.
After that particular incident, I began to learn to manage the various pressures around me. I stopped comparing myself to others, I don't do things at the same pace others would. Also, I realized I don't have to keep facing things alone, when you see those who are true and genuine, talk to them, and that's exactly what I did, I talked and open up to some friends and family members, and it did help. The reason why we face and carry things to an extent that it breaks us is because we feel/think no one will understand. But just try to speak out, you would be amazed at how light you will feel.
So, when anxiety shows up, I only slow down my thoughts and not fight with it, there are times I take walk, listen to music or just sit outside and watch children play, watch people move, see how sellers and buyers relates. Those moments would make you realize that life is bigger than whatever achievements we think we have or are chasing.
Also, I write, I write down my thoughts and all, I also try listening, advising, healing others with my words. It helps me pour out what I can't say out, it helps me use my story to encourage and heal someone. It's like calming and encouraging someone, while healing and encouraging myself directly or indirectly.
Also, we need to know that to manage the many pressures of life, we can't completely avoid stress, it's not possible, what we need to do is to learn to live with it while not giving it room/chance to consume us. There are times we need to take a break, at times we just need to stand, breathe in and breathe out, other times we just need to remind ourselves that we are doing our best.
I still feel overwhelmed and all, but then, I no longer break, I take my time, do my things one at a time, take good care of my health, mental health and rest a lot. At the end of the day, success amounts to nothing when you are not okay deep down.
The truth is, life won't stop coming at us, it will bring with it stress, anxiety and pressure, but the best way to find peace in all of those chaos is knowing you get to choose how to respond. And for me, that choice begins with self-care, communication and the courage to give myself some rest when I need to.
All pictures are mine.
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