I. Blooms of Love (Isaiah 27:1-6)
Isaiah 27:2–3 In that day— “Sing about a fruitful vineyard: I, the Lord, watch over it; I water it continually. I guard it day and night so that no one may harm it.”
• What are some ways we “water” our relationship daily?
• When have we set aside a large chunk of time for our marriage? What fruitfulness have we seen from that effort?
• Can we share fruit with others because of our marriage?
In Isaiah 27, God talks about cultivating the fruitful garden that is his chosen people. He keeps an eye on that garden. He waters it. He makes sure that nothing can harm it. His intention to go beyond protection and provision to fruitfulness is evident.
My partner and I like to share our garden blooms. This year flowers from our garden helped make a glorious, enormous Easter cross of flowers for our church sanctuary. Flowers from our garden end up on coworkers’ desks, neighbors’ kitchen counters and sickroom bedside tables. People walking their dogs wander up our driveway to get a glimpse into the backyard. The point of cultivating our marriage goes beyond simply protecting ourselves and our togetherness. We want our marriage to bear fruit. Some of the fruit it’s now bearing is the secure, God-directed home environment that we’re creating for our children. But our marriage bears fruit in our careers too; neither of us would have the creativity and energy required for work if we were emotionally drained by a damaged marital relationship. Our marriage also bears fruit in our church family life, as we live a testimony of faithfulness before others and as our support for each other enables us to serve in various ways to cultivate a marriage that keeps bearing fruit.
II. TAKE-IT-OR-LEAVE-IT ADVICE (Deuteronomy 7:1–11)
Deuteronomy 7:7–8 “The Lord did not set His affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. But it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt.”
• How does marriage between a man and a woman illustrate the relationship between God and His people? Whose marriage has been a profound example for us?
• What are some ways that our marriage reflects God’s attitude toward his people? What are some ways that our commitment doesn’t reflect this?
• How will we personally commit to love each other in a way that reflects God’s love for His people?
Before we got married, we received a lot of advice from friends and family, and we read a lot of books on marriage that offered counsel—how to keep the romance alive, how to handle finances, how to define success in marriage, how to deal with conflict, and even detailed suggestions about how to approach the wedding night. Some of the advice was good and some of it was . . . not. Let’s be honest: almost everyone feels the urge to offer engaged couples wisdom on marriage, even if it’s unwanted. If you’re looking for advice on marriage, God’s Word contains the best information and advice. And God’s unconditional, enduring love and commitment to his people is a great model for human marriage. It is the most profound example we could ever look to. It trumps even the best marriage advice. It is amazing to think about God’s unswerving commitment to his people as a model for marriage. Throughout Scripture, God’s relationship with his people is described in beautiful and poetic language. For example, God’s words to the Israelites in Deuteronomy 7:6–9 are riddled with phrases reminiscent of marriage: The Israelites were a “people holy [set apart] to the Lord” (verse 6). God “set his affection on [them]” (verse 7) and chose them (see verse 7). He “loved [them] and kept the oath he swore” (verse 8). And they were to know that God is “the faithful God” (verse 9). Look at some of the other marriage talk in the Bible: we are the “bride” of Christ (Revelation 19:7), and we will celebrate the “wedding supper of the Lamb” in heaven (Revelation 19:9). A good, healthy marriage can reveal the depth of God’s love for us in profound and even overwhelming ways. As we watched them finish each other’s sentences, chuckle with laughter together, and give each other a light kiss on the cheek, we came away with a revolutionized understanding of romance. This was real love—this was the way God loves. It was determined, unwavering love for a lifetime . . . and beyond. In (Deuteronomy 7:4, 7, 9), Since intimacy with God is His highest priority for our lives, it is a grave sin to turn someone’s heart away from the one true God (verse 4). God does not love us because we’re so lovable; He loves us because His nature is love and because of His promise to Abraham. We owe our very salvation to the love of God, and nothing else (verse 7). In Romans 8:35, the apostle Paul rhetorically asks what could separate us from the love of God. The answer: absolutely nothing! Even before God’s chosen people entered the Promised Land, God assured them of His everlasting love (verse 9). Whether you’ve been married for 70 years or just 70 days, your earthly marriage can serve as a concrete example of God’s passionate and determined commitment to his people.
Want some good marriage advice? Seek to love your spouse the way God loves you.
II. First Love (Revelation 2:1–7)
Revelation 2:3–4 “You have persevered and have endured hardships for My name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.”
• What do we remember about times when we were deeply in love with Jesus? What did it feel like? What did we do? How have things changed?
• Who do we know who seems to be deeply in love with Jesus now? How does being around that person affect us?
• Let’s pray together, confessing to the Lord the ways in which our love for him and for each other has cooled. And let’s ask God to help rekindle that first love for him and for each other.
In his book Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas tells about a businessman who sat next to a young man on an airplane. He asked the younger man whether he was traveling on business or pleasure.
“Pleasure,” the young man replied. “I’m on my honeymoon.”
“Your honeymoon?” the businessman asked, mystified. “Where’s your wife?”
“Oh, she’s a few rows back. The plane was full, so we couldn’t get seats together.”
The businessman said, “I’d be happy to change seats with her so that the two of you can be together.”
“That’s OK,” the young man replied. “I’ve been talking to her all week.”
Sometimes it doesn’t take long for love to get road weary. It happens in marriage, and it happens in our relationship with Christ. In Jesus’ message to the church at Ephesus, he commends them for their faithfulness under pressure. But pressure can take its toll.
Anyone who has been married for a while knows that the pressures of life can cool “honeymoon love.” It happens for Christians in our love for Jesus too. Sure, we’re faithful to him, but sometimes there isn’t much passion.
Brennan Manning says that 100 years ago in the Deep South, people didn’t refer to their conversion experiences as being “born again.” Rather they said, “I have been seized by the power of a great affection.” That’s the kind of “first love” the Christians in Ephesus had lost. Maybe you have too.
We forget sometimes that what Jesus most wants from us is first love. He is our bridegroom, and we are his bride. He is unabashedly passionate about us. He’s captivated with us. He thinks we’re beautiful. He yearns for us to love him as passionately as he loves us. In Revelation 2:2-4, We may sometimes feel as though we toil in anonymity and that our labors go unnoticed and unappreciated. However, first we must remember that we do not exist to glorify ourselves but the One who has redeemed us so that others will be saved. Second, we must recall that Jesus notices everything. He sees both our work and the love and obedience we express for Him as we serve (Hebrews 6:10). He remembers it all faithfully, and He rewards us when the time is right (Verse 2). The work Jesus gives us to do can feel taxing and almost unending. To complete our assignment takes both complete reliance upon Him and perseverance. Only when we labor in His strength can we avoid complete weariness (verse 3). How could anything be wrong in a church where people are serving the Lord? Ephesus was a wealthy and influential port city in Asia Minor, which had the potential of becoming a great center for the spread of Christianity. Sadly, the believers there were placing more faith in their earthly riches and works than in the spiritual blessings given to them by the Lord. They were busy for Him, but not obedient to Him. God created us for an intimate relationship with Himself, and developing that relationship must always remain our top priority. Serving the Lord must be out of obedience — not ritual or tradition — and it must never replace loving Him (verse 4).
Revelation 2:5 tells us how to recapture that kind of love. First, we need to “consider how far [we] have fallen!” People sometimes describe their first love for Jesus as a mountaintop experience. Jesus tells us here to look back up the mountain.
Second, we need to “repent.” That means we must not only confess our dulled love but also put our hearts back on the trail up the mountain, where we once loved Jesus passionately. Third, we need to “do the things [we] did at first.” We may be doing love-chilling things and failing to do love-warming things. To rekindle that first love, we should purposefully do the things we once did. When we do them, we will fall in love with Jesus again. The same thing, of course, applies to marriage. If we have lost our first love for each other, we may need a temperature check. Are we spending enough time together? Doing fun things together? Lingering over dinner to talk through the day? Rekindling that love that once so powerfully attracted us to each other is worth all the effort we put into it—and more. It’s priceless!
III. Loving Beyond Limits (1 Corinthians 13:1-13)
1 Corinthians 13:8 “Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
• What is one verbal expression of love that is most like music to each of us?
• What one sacrifice of love is especially hard for each of us?
• What sacrifices do we make for each other that are especially meaningful?
Perhaps you’ve heard someone in a failed relationship say, “We always loved each other, but we just couldn’t get along.” They may have loved much, but they didn’t know how to love well. First Corinthians 13 is great counsel on how to love well in marriage. Loving well is the most essential ingredient for even the most spiritual people. For one thing, loving well brings music to our words (see verse 1). In times of trouble, we can be suspicious of the things our spouse says to us. If our actions don’t show love, words of love will only clang in our hearts. But loving behavior makes even our most mundane conversations melodic. Similarly, loving well adds muscle to our faith (see verse 2). We must always test our motives for everything we do. Do we sacrifice our lives and possessions out of loving obedience to the Lord, or in doing so are we fulfilling a selfish need in our own lives? Do we address our conduct with an attitude of godly service, or are we motivated by personal ambition and conceit? If our actions do not reflect the love of God, they will have no power and will certainly not last. It doesn’t matter what kinds of obstacles we overcome or what kinds of insights we have; without acting in love toward those closest to us, even the greatest spiritual accomplishments turn to dust. Finally, loving well brings value to our sacrifices (see verse 3). In marriage, we often sacrifice for our partner, but there can be a point at which we start keeping track of what those efforts cost us. When we love well, even the smallest sacrifices become treasures rather than points scored. Verses 4–8 are practical reminders for marriage. Verse 4: When he is thoughtless and inconsistent, “love is patient.” When she hurts you, “love is kind.” When other couples have what you want, love “does not envy.” When you were right and he was wrong, love “does not boast.” When you did a better job than she did, love “is not proud.” Verse 5: When you know your spouse hates it when you are habitually late, love “does not dishonor others.” When no one thinks of you—your needs, your feelings, your desires or your rights—love “is not self-seeking.” When you’ve had a long day and you’re tired, or when she seems to be taking potshots at you, love “is not easily angered.” When your spouse doesn’t say “I’m sorry” for some offense, love “keeps no record of wrongs.” Verse 7: When he or she is taking a pounding from the world, your love, like a roof overhead, “protects.” When you’ve been hurt or disappointed or betrayed, love “trusts.” When no one notices how much you care or how often you cry, love “hopes.” And when your love has been abused and questioned, when the door has been slammed in your face, when you’ve been completely ignored, love “perseveres.” Verse 8: Because God’s holy love is within us, we should never be self-consumed. Rather, as Paul told the Philippians, “In lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” Real, godly, unconditional love never falls short of forgiving or seeking the good of the other person. It never fails to encourage others to stay in an intimate relationship with the Lord. When our love for Him and others is right, we win. We cannot lose when His unconditional love flows through us freely. Verse 9: God does not give any of His children a complete picture of what He is doing or what He has planned to do in the world, but He reveals it to us as we work together in unity. He never calls any believer to “go it alone” in his walk of faith but to fully enjoy the Christian life as we fellowship with other believers. We need to depend upon one another not only to experience His love and know His will, but also to fulfill His mission in the world. Of course, if we’re honest with one another, we have to admit that none of us measures up to the kind of love described in 1 Corinthians 13. No matter how much we love our spouse, loving well is too hard for us. That is why our relationship with Christ and the infilling of the Holy Spirit are so crucial. The Lord expects us to do our best—to throw our hearts and wills into all aspects of loving well. But when we’ve reached the limit of our ability, stunted by our sinfulness and weakness, we can pray for grace to do better. God can dial down our selfishness, release us from our insecurities and scorekeeping, and refresh our delight in our partner, so that we can begin to know the blessing of loving well.
IV. Three Cords of Love (Ecclesiastes 4:1-12)
Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
• What friends do we have as a couple who are centered in Christ? What friends help us grow in faith?
• Which of the three strands mentioned above is strongest in our marriage? Which is weakest?
• How can we begin a ministry of prayer?
A jeweler was showing his friend some precious stones in his store. One caught the friend’s attention because it wasn’t beautiful. It was lusterless. When he commented on it, the jeweler picked up the stone and simply held it a moment. When he opened his hand, the stone was beautiful. “It’s an opal,” the jeweler explained. “It’s what we call a sympathetic jewel. It takes the warmth of a person’s touch to bring out its beauty.” In Ecclesiastes 4:6, 9, Paul wrote, “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6). In other words, when we submit to God — resting in Him and trusting Him to take care of the consequences of our obedience — He supplies everything we need. Therefore, we should find all of our joy and fulfillment in Him. Those who walk closely with God can learn to be content in whatever circumstances arise. Paul said he had “learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need” (verse 6). God never calls on any of His children to “go it alone” in their walks with Him. We need each other, not only to receive help and encouragement but to give it as well (verse 9). Christian marriage is a treasure, especially if it is warmed in the grip of mutual love for Christ and love for each other. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” I see three “cords,” or principles, that make a Christian marriage strong.
The first cord is having strong friendships and a support structure of friends and family. The Teacher observes a man who is all alone. He works and works, but when he looks around he sees no one with whom to share the fruits of his labors. “His eyes were not content with his wealth,” yet the man continues to toil on alone (see verse 8). There is a quality in Christ-centered relationships that is deeply satisfying. We feel more complete for having spent time with someone we love. That time together needs to involve time together and time together in Christ. If we simply toil and work, what is it all worth? What do we find at the end of our lives? Only shared ministry and shared priorities that focus on Christ make life meaningful. A second cord that strengthens a Christian relationship is a shared commitment to ministry. The Teacher tells us that “two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor” (verse 9). When we work together, we magnify our resources, strengthen and encourage each other to do more to help others and further God’s kingdom. By pooling the gifts God has given us, we gain a stake in one another’s work for the Lord. The third cord of strength is praying for one another. The Teacher reminds us that “if either of them falls down, one can help the other up” (verse 10). We can take this teaching in a physical sense and think of ways we can help each other when we are working or laboring together. But we can also take this teaching to remind us to help each other mentally and spiritually. One way to do this is to pray for each other continually. When we pray for one another, our times together are marked by joy and refreshment. The apostle Paul often asked for prayer from his friends and co-workers. In Romans 15:30, he urges the Roman believers to “join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.” One of the ministries we can have as a couple is to pray for our friends and then track the outcomes with them. Our friendships grow strong when we pray for each other. So, do our marriages. Like the opal, we are sympathetic jewels.
V. Loving Beyond Feeling (John 13:1-38)
John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
• Do we think of love as a noun or a verb? What’s the difference? What changes could be redefining the word make in our relationship?
• Why is it difficult to love each other sacrificially?
• What are some ways we might love each other as we think about Christ’s sacrifice for us?
For most of my life, I have thought of love as a noun, not a verb. In our culture, marriage typically occurs as the result of two people falling in love and deciding that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. It’s this intense feeling of love that prompts us to say “I do” and commit to all kinds of lofty promises, like remaining faithful, and honoring and respecting our mate in sickness and in health till death do us part. Unfortunately for too many people, once the feeling of love passes, so does the marriage. Jesus turns this way of thinking on its ear. Instead of telling us to love others based on our feelings toward them, he commands us to love one another whether we feel love or not. He said in John 13:34, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Jesus’ love toward us isn’t based on how He feels about us or what we feel about Him. Nor is it based on what we deserve. It’s based on actions that speak louder than the words “I love you.” If you’re looking for proof, just look at the cross. Jesus didn’t stand at its foot and say, “You see this cross. I love you so much that I would die for you.” He didn’t make promises; he just did it. He died on the cross before we even realized we needed him to die for us. There is no greater love than that. What if I started my day by focusing on how Jesus has loved me by sacrificing his life? What if I concentrated on Jesus’ sacrifice that allows me to enjoy the fullness of all God intended for me?
VI. Over Me with Love (1 Peter 4:1-11)
1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
• What are some of the little things that cause irritations in our marriage? What’s really behind those issues? Let’s talk honestly about the feelings and frustrations at the core of the petty issues that chip away at our marriage.
• What sinful impulses get in the way of fully accepting each other?
• What would it look like for us to let love cover over these sins?
We tend to throw the word love around pretty casually. We send our spouses off to work with a casual “Love you,” we toss in a little affection during a midday phone conversation or email and offer a pleasant “Goodnight, I love you” before falling asleep. But what happens in between all those professions of love? Does the love you share with your spouse really cover over—that is, bear with and forgive— “a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8)? For many of us, it doesn’t. We nag each other, criticize each other, bicker with each other. We complain about the dirty socks he leaves on the floor or the crusty dishes she leaves in the sink. We snap at each other, belittle each other and take out our frustrations on each other. We find it almost impossible to ignore all the ways our spouse drives us crazy. Marriage experts say divorce is rarely the result of a single conflict. Rather, it’s little grievances that, over time, add up to what feels like an intolerable situation. Then I think about how ridiculous that is. Would I really end my marriage to an exception because I tripped over the shoes? Of course not. Are those shoes really a subtle symbol of disrespect? Not in the least. And I think that’s some of what 1 Peter 4:8 is getting at. Had He chosen to do so, God could have taken us immediately to heaven when we placed our faith in Christ. But He didn’t. Why not? Because He wants us to reach others for Him by showing them how His power has changed our lives (1 Peter 4:1-1). People who knew us before we placed our faith in Christ sometimes do not understand why we no longer want to participate in the ungodly activities we engaged in before we accepted God’s love. But we should not give in to their taunts or entreaties to return to that sinful behavior. We now have the unique opportunity to be a light to them, and we do that by allowing Christ to shine through us, not by returning to the bondage that once held us captive. Living for God Christ suffered in his body (1 Peter 4:4). How does love cover a multitude of sins? Because it stops a transgression before it can multiply. For example, if someone wrongs you, you might be tempted to react in anger or vengeance, and may even gossip about it to others. In that case, the iniquity reproduces itself. If you respond with God’s love and forgive the person, you not only stop the sin from going any further, you may even lead the offender to the healing he or she needs (1 Peter 4:8). How do we serve God? By serving others. Each one of us has been given special gifts and talents, and it is our responsibility to use them in leading others to a growing relationship with Jesus Christ (1 Peter 4:10).
The kind of love we are to have for others is the kind that “is not easily angered” (1 Corinthians 13:5). The only thing that can cover over those powerful sins is the kind of love that comes from God. When the love of God fills us, it flushes out selfishness, greed, disrespect and petty criticism. It’s that deep love, the love that overrides our base instincts, that allows us to live well with our spouses.
VII. Tending Our Marriage (Isaiah 5:1-7)
Isaiah 5:4 “What more could have been done for my vineyard than I have done for it? When I looked for good grapes, why did it yield only bad?”
• When we reflect on our life together (how we met, our courtship and our engagement), where do we see God’s guidance, protection and nurturing?
• If we, as God’s people, are compared to a vineyard, how might we ensure the growth of good fruit within our marriage? What types of fruit do we most want to produce as a couple?
• What habits or behaviors have we fallen into that could spoil the fruit of our marriage? What steps can we take to stop those damaging patterns?
When I was young, I attended the wedding of an extended family member. I don’t remember much about the ceremony, dancing or food. But I do remember the terrible fight at the reception. In front of all the guests, a woman screamed at her husband, broke down in tears and hid in a corner while her friends consoled her. The man yelled back, threatened to hit her, and then stormed out of the building with his friends. He did not return that night. It might shock you to learn that I’m describing the bride and groom. But it probably will not surprise you to learn that their marriage lasted less than a month.
In Isaiah 5, God addressed the people of Israel and described himself as the owner of a vineyard and Israel as the vineyard. He had chosen a prime location for his grapevines, nurtured the soil and protected the land from harm. But in the end, the crop of grapes was no good. So he asked, “What more could have been done for my vineyard than I have done for it?” The farmer had done everything right; there was no reason why the crop should not have flourished. But the painful message soon became clear: Israel had failed despite God’s efforts to ensure her success. Though the people kept up elaborate rituals of worship, those were meaningless to God because the people neglected to do what he truly valued: caring for orphans, widows and the poor. As a result, they managed to spoil the harvest that God had nurtured. God offers this same nurturing care today for your marriage. Even before you met your spouse, God was preparing the soil, removing the stones and building a watchtower. God placed you in a cultivated land, ready to produce good fruit. But in this vineyard, the Farmer doesn’t do all the work; you must also do your part. More and more Christian couples today are producing bad marital fruit, spoiling their relationship despite God the Farmer’s efforts. Some couples, like the couple mentioned earlier, manage to kill their vine before it even takes hold. In the end, a marriage will be judged not by the strength of its passion or by its ceremonial promises, but by the fruit it produces. The Farmer is there to weed, water and cultivate. But we must also take practical steps that will help our marriage reflect authentic devotion to each other and a true love for God and his values.
We can choose to forgive quickly and resist resentment. We can serve each other in purposeful ways throughout the day. We can encourage each other with words of love and by praying for each other. We can invite strong Christian couples to mentor us in spiritual growth. We can minister to others in need. By authentically reflecting God’s values in our relationship, we can do our part to nourish our marriage vineyard and produce a harvest of good fruit.
VIII. Fueling the Fire of Love (Song of Songs 7:1—8:7)
Song of Songs 8:6 “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”
• Whose relationships have been inspiring examples for us of marital passion and commitment? What is inspiring about them?
• What would it look like in practical terms for us to put a “seal” on each other?
• How has passion led to deepened commitment in our relationship? How has our loving commitment to each other increased our passion?
Right before we exchanged rings in our wedding ceremony, something totally unexpected happened: a fire broke out! A decorative candle had burned too low and ignited a wreath of artificial leaves. Within seconds, we had a small fireball on our hands. After a few moments of confusion, a wedding guest ran down the aisle and put out the flames with a fire extinguisher, temporarily obscuring the altar with white fog.
This unplanned interruption in our ceremony was humorous for some and horrifying for others. But it dramatically paired two powerful images—fire and the exchanging of rings—that symbolize two significant ideas about marriage: passion and commitment.
At the climax of Solomon’s love poem in Song of Songs, passion and commitment are intimately connected, with one naturally resulting from the other. Because of the woman’s passionate desire for her lover, she made the ultimate request. She asked to claim Solomon as her own by placing her seal on his heart and arm. In Biblical times, seals were used to indicate ownership, so Solomon’s lover was “staking her claim” on her husband. But since this is a love poem with symbolic language, we can conclude that the bride was not just asking for physical or social ownership; she was making a claim on everything her bridegroom was and did. She wanted all of him—not just ownership in an outward sense, but also fidelity in his inner man. The way we love in marriage is substantially different from the way we love other people or things. We say we “love” ice cream or our new house or our pet, but that love can’t compare with the love and commitment we feel for our spouse. The bride in Song of Songs said such love is “as strong as death” (Song of Songs 8:6); it is permanent, unrelenting and final. And within this framework of ultimate commitment, her passion for her husband burned as a “mighty flame.” Popular movies and TV shows imply that passion and commitment are mutually exclusive. True sexual passion, they suggest, happens between couples who barely know each other but are irresistibly attracted to each other. Committed married couples, on the other hand, are supposedly sexually boring and passionless. What a contrast to the image of marriage that God shows us in Song of Songs, where the bride and bridegroom burned with such passion. Such love only burns brighter within the solidarity of lifelong devotion. It’s the kind of strong, unyielding love that extends beyond our outward actions to the deepest core of our being. Unlike the climactic fireball in our wedding ceremony that was quickly snuffed out, passion paired with commitment is so strong that nothing can extinguish it—not temptation, discouragement, conflict, intrusive in-laws, financial hard times, tragedy or spiritual attacks. Unlike the short-lived expressions of passion lauded in our society, God’s plan for marriage is an enduring flame of passion that lasts all the years of our life together. True devotion begins in the heart and works its way out in loving expressions involving the rest of the body. Spouses want and need all of each other — and God wants the same thing from us. He wants our devotion and, in return, gives to us His heart — which is totally committed to us at every turn.