What an outstanding post.
I've danced around this subject in a lot of my writing but haven't been able to get the words out as well as you have.
There's a piece of writing that I have hidden away in a book, but I've never published it online that probably talks about this subject in a different way. It is more of a confession and a litany of regrets.
Your post has encouraged me to perhaps publish it specifically on Hive
Enough rambling.
Thank you for the post