Sometimes I loose it. I loose the ability to understand why people do one thing or another. And then I look back at my own family and stop questioning why do I feel this way.
Yesterday I was standing in a queue to the registration desk in Budapest. Four men standing at front of me were typical Kiev guys, the so called machos in their prime- 35-40. I don’t like to eardrop but heck this was fascinating. The theme of the discussion was how much money did they invest in their ladies, exs and present partners. Now this was followed by proving a proof in instagram- for Christmas I gave her boobs, for her birthday I gave her, her nose. Prices, comments, anger, derogatory comments, insults. All packed in a few sentences. They were discussing women as if they were an investment, a business. Now I have nothing against looking at a marriage or a relationship from a business point of view- how can we budget, what can we do together, what investments can we make in this project. But looking at another person like this? As if they were nothing but a thing, that you can buy and improve, raise to your own standard? This is horrendous.
And then I looked at my own family. Where my father till this day thinks that I’m his property, where he never misses a chance to diminish my carrier choice and to put me down by reminding me of my failures. And the cherry on pie- how could you leave your hospital job for doing what you do. Ehmmm what never even crossed his mind is that when I worked in cardio department I lost people and that stress took a huge toll on me. The classic stress release in Ukraine is to get drunk and let it go. Except it doesn’t make anything better, it just adds up until you stop feeling anything. That’s something my prime “investor” never understood, that the conditions I worked in were inhumane and somehow I chose myself over sacrificing my life to medicine. The grudge is still there. Oh well. But this mentality is pretty much the same, except modern “patriarchs” don’t see a problem in treating women as if they are their property. No wonder we have a raise in aggression, finally women are waking up and saying no more of this nonsense.
I know that living a traditional life is easier. Traditions and rituals replace thinking process, you have an answer for a lot of things and you don’t have to think extra. But this isn’t my path, nor is it the path of females I work with. We made our choice, it cost us a lot- family rejection, loss of contacts, anger, financial struggles. And at the same time liberation, from traditional misogyny and aggression. It is a fight but heck it’s worth it. Each women who pulls through, who finds strength to stand up and fight back, often without any support is a winner. This is why I love my job- because I have a chance to support and help these women, to see them stand up and change their life, to come back to their happy. They are amazing.
Have an amazing day guys.
