Coming back to self-center while hearing all the noise outside can be one of the most difficult task that a modern person can face. A constant pressure for being better, stronger, successful, seeking outside approval from social media, people, friends, family. All of this drains and staying motivated to live happy and actually enjoy life becomes somewhat a target too. The culture of fun and happiness, while feeling empty on the inside is pretty much all around.
So what can you do about it? Is there a way to find your own happy without falling for cliché and advertised methods??
First of all stop pushing yourself with a “if I don’t have it all, I cant be happy”. Happiness starts from within not with the things you have, do or aim for. This doesn’t mean that you have to stay happy all the time, you have a right to be sad, angry and frustrated, when things don’t happen the way you want them to. Live through them, accept them, see if you can learn something about your own personal triggers, situations and behaviors that make you feel the certain way.
Second thing- Putting a brave face when you are scared is a typical thing, that we have been tough since we were kids. It is encouraged by culture, by fairy tales and many other things. Have a space where you can actually let yourself live through your fears, recognize them, are they yours or you’ve been taught to be scared of them? Are you afraid that someone might not understand the way you live, the way you do things? Personal experience- I have a lot of attention seeking people around me, working with public figures, activists and social media influencers has it’s perks. It took me a while to recognize how drained I was at the end of the day from all the messages and emails they constantly send me. So I’ve raised my bar and boundaries, by switching off my phone the moment I came back home, for at least two hours, or for entire night depending on the day. The feedback that I’ve got for my actions- what if something happens and you don’t know? Welp, that’s your anxiety talking, not mine. I don’t expect bad things to happen.
Third things- being alone and being ok with it. Ukrainian culture has a strong message- if the woman isn’t accomplished family wise she isn’t happy. The amount of un-required pity you might hear from friends considering this subject is unbelievable. But what if you are actually happy having a time for yourself? What if you finally get to do the things that you want to? So I had to execute few thank you and good bye. If you are enjoying your life, in a relationship or without it, go for it. Don’t measure your happiness nor your life by outside opinion. Take all the time you need, to get yourself together, to recognize your own needs and wants. Learn what you were searching for in a relationship before- was it something that you lacked when you were a child or it is your now day need? Were you looking for familiar routs of relationship that your parents had, in order to relieve their scenario and achieve
Ok that all for today.
Have an amazing day guys.
