Ok, have you ever been told «Look at such and such, how well they are dong!». For some this will be a queue to become better, to look at another and say heck, I want this too but what should I do in order to achieve this and may be more? On the other hand, if you lack that all mighty believe in yourself this will become a painful experience.
Speaking in the language of transactional analysis we all carry introjects of our parental figures. If those figures were critical, judgmental, there is a high chance that they still linger somewhere with you and come out every single time the situation goes down south, becomes unpredictable, and you don’t know what to do or how to deal with your feelings and emotions.
And each time you feel jealous, angry, hurt there is an immediate zap- you cant feel these feelings, you have to stay in lane, be good, and don’t show them otherwise you will be punished.
Denying yourself the right to feel of these feelings, or may be even recognizing that you actually have them is a downward spiral. They add up, they build up, they make you struggle on the inside. Keeping that lid on top of your feelings and emotions gets harder and harder each day. Some spiral down into depression some lean towards the aggression. In both cases you hurt yourself more then anybody else.
So what can you do about it? Personally I choose therapy. But if this is unavailable to you let it all out to paper. Whichever «horrible» feeling you are having accept it, embrace it. It's a part of you, yes it's dark, but it's still there.
Some say meditate through your negative feelings. In my opinion it's not as helpful as they say. Meditation can be a self soothing method that will only push down your feelings and top them off with a positivity- I’ve done something good to myself now I’m better.
Workouts. Now here is where I agree. Working through your anger can be easily done in boxing class, shame of doing something wrong reduces the more you put yourself through exposure to others. Look around, pretty much nobody is looking at you and what you are doing. Enjoy yourself while you are at it.
And last method, but not least☺ we all receive some junk mail, catalogues, newspapers. Save them up for this occasion- my favorite therapy group game is to sit around an empty bucket and make that paper pay for everything, rip it, squash it, tear it, whatever you please. And then toss it into a bin. Each time you do this you will feel how your own body is relaxing and feeling better. Try it.
Ok this is pretty much it for today. Have a safe and happy one.
With care M
