Dear Diary,
I’m Ant. And I’m an ant.
And as if that was not enough, where I live, everyone's ‘ant and Ant’, too.
I’m sure that you’ll agree that that’s ridiculous, even though the Queen Mother certainly won't.
She says we can never have enough of ants having the same name.
The resulting chaos is all worth it, though. I mean, just imagine :
Ant1 : “Hi. I’m Ant. What's your name?”
Ant2 : “Ant.”
Ant1 : “Yes, I’m Ant.”
Ant2 : “Yes.”
Ant1 : “What?”
Ant2 : “?? ”
Ant1 : “I’m ant.”
Ant2 : “I’m ant.”
Ant1 : Are you just repeating what I’m saying?
Ant2 : Are you just repeating what I’m saying?
But apart from that, my life is pretty boring. We live in a place called the Apartment. It's got three Great Villages - The Drawing village, the Dining village, and the Bedroom village. There's a smaller place called the Kitchen, which is where we hoard our food for the winter. Because of all the effort we put in for gathering the food, we’re very particular about it, but we let the Humans borrow it if ever they are in need.
I couldn't tell you for sure how the names of our home came to be, but legend has it that it's got something to do with the previous Humans that lived with us.
I’ve never met a Human. But I turned 2 last year, and as part of the investiture ceremony for ants that come of age, we’re required to scare a human, and henceforth assert our dominance on the entire human race.
This is not as ominous a task as it sounds, partly because humans scare pretty easy.
Nevertheless, we ants attach enormous value to this concept of dominance. Once one of my cousins spotted a cake that, in his own words, ‘seemed to call out to him’, and like any sane ant would, he went to ‘answer the call.’ He noted the presence of the hundred-odd people only when they all shreiked and ran for cover. He later came to know that it was because of him, and that, dear Diary, is how one of my dumbest cousins came to be appointed as the Village Chief. (One extremely valuable perk of which is that he can be found with a complete half grain on his person at all times).
The investiture ceremony is important because after the induction, our security increases ten fold if ever we are under attack by external sources (read, ‘Human’) : a total of 10 ants will help us besiege the rogue Human’s shell. It is an ugly affair, because although several Humans have been brought down this way, we have lost quite a number of our own, too. But the Humans have a master tactic : it involved picking us up and taking us to some place far away. We did not know what happened next, for the ants that went that way were never heard from again.
And so I now find myself about to be sent out of the Hill, and into the Human quarters of the Village. I’m nervous, but the worker ants seem to be restless. Someone mutters something about ‘needing to leave soon because today was Sugar Cubes Day’.
I barely register the shove that lands me outside.
I don't know what I had expected Humans to look like, but it was nowhere near the image of the huge, potbellied, balding male that now sat infront of me. But he seemed incapable of even moving. Why would the elders choose such a race to spar with?!
Nerves in a bundle, I shuffled myself across the room. I was unsure of what else to do, so I just waited for nature to follow its course : He is going to look at me, he is going to shriek, he is going to run for his life, and I’m going to go back to the elders and tell them what happened, and then land an opportunity of internship with the Colony.
I was just in the middle of plotting the masterpiece that my plan was, when suddenly I see something huge come down upon me, almost plonking me dead.
Confused, I turn only to hear a booming voice that seemed to be saying ‘.. Finally! Found the pin from yesterday!’
This voice seemed to belong to a female Human. She seemed fitter, didn't have a potbelly, nor was she balding. Maybe she was a Soldier. Soldiers were the Humans that guarded the Kitchen, and were known to have orders to trample us on sight. And what was she saying about a Pin? Was she referring to me? Was I ‘Pin’? And yesterday? Had she overheard our gameplan from inside the barracks? So the enemy knew that I was coming, and that must mean I had just walked into a potential trap.
The Queen Mother was right. ‘Humans have extremely advanced brains, even when you can't always see it.’
Now that I felt cornered, I decided to use the tactic us ants were taught right from our birth : to climb onto the humans, pinch them, and then hide under the Hair Forest, waiting to be rescued.
Research indicates that when pinched, the Humans get stunned and suffer momentarily loss of brain activity. And this would be my cue to escape.
I naturally targeted the Soldier. I began climbing, and quickly rushed past the Trample Gear that came attached to the lower part of the Humans’ bodies.
Not long afterward, my cover was blown and the Human picked me up with her tentacles.
I braced myself for the imminent attack. She was probably going to rip me apart. Or worse, I was in for a much harsher end, an end so scary I couldn't begin to fathom what it consisted of..
“Aww this little guy is so cute!”
Cute? Had she just called me cute? First ‘Pin’ and now ‘cute’? I couldn't just let her hurl abuses at me like this! It was time I pinched her. But I waited.
Because despite being the Titan that she was, her touch was quite gentle. She seemed to be taking the utmost care in handling me..
Was this some kind of Psychological Warfare?
But I refuse to be swayed. I had to stick to my plan : I had just been Picked Up, and I knew for a fact that ants who get Picked Up are sent to the Mystery place. If I held on now, I could maybe get to see it too, and thereby rescue my brothers and sisters from whatever horrors they were clearly facing.
I wondered what those could be. Were our superior strategic planning abilities being used by Humans to take over the Colonies? Maybe they were planning on invading the Kitchen? Maybe they were after our food. And judging by the looks of Mr. Potbelly, I knew I had cracked the case.
Now all I had to do was wait.
Shortly after, we arrived in a room labeled The Pantry. It had several rows of tin buildings arranged in a shelf of some sort; I think this was where the ant population was imprisoned in. Was it my imagination, or could I really hear the ants vainly gnawing away behind the metal walls?
Finally, I myself was led into the building on the farthest end of the aisle. To my surprise, it was filled with sugar! Oh, so this is how I am going to be tortured : by surrounding me with the things I love the most in the world, and then seeing if I would break.
Well, I’ll tell you something right now, Ms. Soldier. I never break. And I’d prefer rotting in here, rather than taking that sugar bait.
I later realised I was being too dramatic, even for me, which is why I got so exhausted and had to and lie down on all the sweet, sweet sugar… no! I had to get a hold over myself. I needed to keep myself occupied with something else.
I tried to remember my family. There was this cousin that I had, who was always peeping into our house from over the wall. He’d climb it, and just casually go “Hello, Ant!” I tried to conjure up an image of him. Only, the image seemed so real..
“HELLO ANT!”
Wow. This was one realistic dream..
“Wake up, you’re not dreaming!”
And wake up I did. There he was, right infront of me! So I wasn't dreaming after all! But what was he doing in here? I shuddered to think what would happen if the Soldier saw him.
With a renewed sense of urgency, I told him that he had to get back for now, but he shouldn't lose hope. I was going to do whatever it took to get him out and back to the elders.
“The elders?”
“Yes. The elders. They’ve all been worried sick for you, and we cannot fathom what you have been through all this while.”
I proceeded to tell him everything, right from the start to my journey uptil now, and all that I had gathered from the situation in the Pantry Room. I probably wasn't fully awake still, for I thought I saw my cousin smile.
“First of all, my dear Ant, you need to calm down. And each of these tin buildings houses one type of food. There’s everything in here : sugar, honey, protein.. Everything that you could ever think of, and more. And the Soldier, she’s actually really nice. And I know I’ve given in to the ways of the Paradise we are in, but I still have my dignity intact, and it is unacceptable of you to think that someone would have to allow me to go anywhere! Did you know, when I was your age I used to singlehandedly carry one whole grain with my bare arms. One sting and I could bring down a whole Human. I have made tunnels through walls, on the forefront of the army of ants everytime we invade a new Room. And did you know… “
“But then why didn't you ever come back?”, I managed to butt in, trying to keep the conversation on track.
“Because there's always that one Ant with the ‘Arrey bhai aap toh bade aadmi ban gaye, ab yahan kya kaam?’”
But I was no longer listening. I pondered over my newfound knowledge, which was as shocking as it was comforting.
The knowledge that maybe, just maybe, 'Humans are capable of being good.'
Source : my own blog at mariamsafoora.wordpress.com
