To understand the narration I visited the original post because it is very quickly observed that there are two narrative styles. The first style is proposed by @ntowl in @freewritehouse; Then the end is what you write. Honestly, it is very clear that it is written by two different people. I really liked the beginning not so much the end. But, but I loved that touch of suspense that you incorporate at the end. You did it very subtly and it was perfect! Congratulations on the Curie vote and much success in the contest. Best regards @sarez