Reading your continuation, I breathe drama, sense of danger, mystery. I'm breathtaking! It's your great ability to convey feelings without actually explaining anything of the mysterious facts that involved the poor boys.
On one hand, I'd like to know everything, to understand what's behind in a much broader story, but on the other hand I recognize that, given the brevity of the form of this contest, the story is ok like that, it's structured perfectly and it doesn't need any addition.
It's like a clockwork mechanism designed to convey those feelings in the reader and leave them in suspense