And here’s what that means to me…
In essence, I refuse to get into a debate about religion. I believe what I want to believe and if someone doesn’t like that, well then, they are free to leave the conversation. I will not condemn them, nor will I allow them to cause me to feel strife due to their unwillingness to accept my views. I simply do not believe in a “God”, as defined by man. This is why I call myself ‘Agnostic’.
My upbringing was Christian; I have been confirmed and have attended all of the Wednesday night groups, and the Sunday school gatherings. Because of this, I find it hard to let go of the doctrine which was ingrained in me of some supernatural being sitting in the sky above deciding whether I was good or evil in HIS eyes (and why, please tell me, does this being have to be male?). Ergo – I still cling to being Christian. However, something is missing. Something about it just does not sit right; does not ring true.
The part of Christianity that never sat well with me, was the fact that supposedly there was this all-knowing being looking after us, who supposedly loved us. However, he would not hesitate to kill us if we did not do as he wanted. Now if that isn’t a sociopath, then I don’t know what is. This being also claims to be a fair and just god, but then allows things such as what is happening today – the attacks on innocent people in Ukraine.
If it was really fair and just, then Putin would halt his attacks and return to Russia.
This brings me to the third part of my title. Shamaness. If you look the term up in the dictionary, you will get the definition as “female shaman”. Which again, is a chauvinistic tendency that our society tends to allow. The actual definition of ‘shaman” is written being as a priest or priestess who uses magic for the purpose of curing the sick, divining the hidden, and controlling events”.
So why not use the same definition? Why does it need to be differentiated? I’ve decided that it is because of our male-dominated society.
But anyway…
This is the part of the title that I am actually drawn to the most. I have discovered that, within myself, I have the power to do magick. No, not the sleight of hand, tricks of manipulation type of magic that people such as Penn and Teller, Criss Angel, or Eric Weiss (you might know him better as Harry Houdini). Not the magic of Merlin, per se…. Although that type of magick is also real…. We have just buried that knowledge under thousands of years of Catholic doctrine and bs.
The type of magick that I am speaking of, is the magick that comes from knowing yourself, being confident in what you do, using that confidence to go after what you want, and believing that the Universe will bring it to you.
Wicca is a part of this doctrine. Wicca utilizes nature as a conduit for the Universe to work through. When you go out into nature, all that you need to do in order to tap into its power is simply let go and allow the energies to enter you. Allow them to channel through you.
Now, when I say “channel”, I am not talking possession as in the “Poltergeist” sense. Not in the slightest.
This type of channeling is one of calmness, serenity, and becoming one with everything around you. While it takes hold of you, it does not control you.…. Instead of causing your head to spin or spewing vomit from your mouth, you will gain a sense of calm and a feeling akin to the euphoric feelings that people have said drugs such as Ecstasy or Cocaine bring.
I have noticed, lately, that when I am in this state of being, I seem to be able to control, at least to some degree, the weather around me. Storms are not as intense, the days when I feel good and strong, are sunny; and I can sometimes seem to be able to “steer” clouds away from me.
Here is one example:
One day last summer, I was out in the pool- doing my daily swim. It had started out being hot and sunny- a record hot day of 93 degrees in May. I came up from under the water and saw that the sky had, in just a matter of 2 or 3 minutes gone from sunny to cloudy. The clouds were just churning, and the wind had picked up. I was in no way ready to get out of the pool but, as I watched, flashes of lightning dazzled the distant sky.
I closed my eyes. Focusing on the area from which I had last seen the lightning, with my mind I “pushed” the storm back and further to the east. I “held” it that way for about a minute and then opened my eyes. The storm, which had been moving directly overhead, was now dissipating, and although I could still see lightning flashes, this time they were more in the northeastern sky.
…
That was just one example. There have been other seemingly magickal occurrences over the years which have solidified my belief that magick is real and it does not come from a mystical being or beings who reside somewhere. Magick comes from within each of us and all that we need to do in order to harness that power is trust in nature and believe in ourselves. Or believe in nature and trust in ourselves. Either one. They will both bring the same results.
There…. I finally did it. I have “come out of the closet” so to speak. Many people whom I have spoken with regarding this topic say that I am just “confused”. They say that “you cannot be Christian AND agnostic, or shamanistic, or believe in anything other than the “almighty god”. When I hear that, I simply sigh, take a deep breath, and thank them for their input. Then I walk away. No need to get into an argument- it’s not worth my time or energy.
This is the way. At least, this is MY way.
