According to Steeven Lysgaand in his essay about cultural shock, under the title of “Adjustment in a Foreign Society: Norwegian Fulbright Grantees Visiting the United State” he illustrates the U curve that basically contains 4 phases when someone is entering a new culture. The first is the honeymoon phase, culture shock, adjustment, and the final phase is adaptation. I did not know that I would be experiencing those in a subtle way when I live in Bali. Certainly the culture is different from what I used to, Bali is more international but also has a mix of Indonesian in it. I have mentioned some of it in my recent posts about my experience living here as an Indonesian.
Yay living the life and dream! Bali life is really awesome, everything is cheap here, time to make new friends. All was about Yay to the new environment. At the same time, I was afraid of stepping out of my room for the first few days in Bali. My anxiety kicked in but I eventually braved myself to go out and about. I joined the co-working space where I know that I’d get more things done and also heard great things about the community feeling and a welcoming place to a new person in town. Though I’ve been to Bali many times, explored some parts of it, coming back it was back to ground zero. I started from scratch and left my knowledge about this island in the back of my head just in case I needed it in a conversation or as a conversation starter. I explored cafes to cafes, restaurants to restaurants, and I kept telling everyone I know that this place gets me and is suitable for my way of living. But all good things, sometimes don’t last.
It’s not really a cultural shock in a sense but some frustrations here and there. From getting tired because apparently the villa, the cafe are alike. They are the same thing that I experienced back in Yogyakarta. Like one driver told me, it’s that déjà vu feeling that I experience because many cities across Indonesia are always trying to design their space either like in Yogyakarta or Bali. But mostly yogyakarta because it’s more design friendly for cities across Java. Once you have too many similar foods, it’s not something new anymore and it gets pretty boring. Then, navigating myself through an international culture where I find out that I just have to approach them if I want to speak something and they’ll be fine with it. It’s different from the somewhat reserved culture back in java where it’s quite odd if you approach someone at a cafe. You might be mistaken as a salesperson because that’s what they often do there and I met a lot like that. Then, loneliness slowly creeped up and being alone started becoming a big deal because in Bali, almost everyone I see is either with a friend or a group of friends. They’re never really alone because a tinder date awaits during the meal time.
It took me a week and some pep talk telling myself that I used to be alone everywhere and anywhere, why does it bother me? Fuck all. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.
But the second week, all I did was complain to my mom how I felt somewhat alone and felt like I have no friends at all. I really wanted to go home early because I am getting tired of the island and really done with how things are around here. But eventually, I slowly talked to people, I braved myself to get into fun stuff that I would have never done and just be myself and confident. Eventually, I met one person and two, then I had fun. Now, I don’t mind if I am going anywhere alone or doing stuff alone. Sometimes, it’s even freeing because I am not attached to anyone’s plan or schedule. And that point where I realized that my life would have been the same everywhere I go was also kinda freeing. But again, Bali has its way to make you feel like alone/lonely especially when you’re alone, on your own. My recommendation would be to find events/communities that are free and don’t cost too much money. That’s something I did and though it took a while, I feel much less lonely and alone.
Another noticeable thing is that I don’t visit cafes as much as I used to. I just eat stuff at warung sometimes and limit myself to doing twice/week cafe visit.
Entering my third week on the island, I get the hang of things and everything around. I started going out once in a while, exploring new things and even extended my stay. I am even considering moving here and never look back. Though at first, it got me thinking that I should probably back and rest for days. But in Bali, I finally found the balance I needed. As I got accustomed to things, I talked to people with the same experiences, if not similar struggles that we had. I started finding out that some places nearby are open 24/7 and some places do better deals for cocktails, beers, and more. Started living more like the locals than the tourists who splurge money on fancier foods. Not to mention, I start having a structure, a better structure of how my day would be and that’s why I get more active on all of your comment sections because I got the hang of everything around.
I am pretty sure many of you have traveled around and experienced these either directly or very subtly. So, I’d like to hear your stories and maybe we can learn from each other!
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| Mac is a jack of all trades. A typical introvert in love with literature, books, technology and philosophy. She is also so into nootropics, productivity, minimalist lifestyle, cybersecurity, and languages. Other than that, she is passionate about cooking and traveling. In her free time, she enjoys learning various things. If you like her content, don't hesitate to upvote, leave a comment or a feedback. A re-blog is also appreciated. |
