On Wednesday morning, I read a message that dad passed away.
I didn’t really know what to do other than trying to find a way back home ASAP. So, a little panicky, I booked a train home but I booked a wrong destination. Thankfully, I realized it even though it was more than an hour after booking it. I went right away to the train station to change my schedule and headed back home. It felt really strange because I was already planning to see him in about few days. Later I found, everyone around me felt the same thing, even my siblings wanted to see him all of sudden. But we were all too late, myself included.
Even when I arrived, I heard he was already buried and I went alone to the graveyard. While normally, neighbors who help will wait around for the families or children to arrive, the neighborhood where my dad lives doesn’t want to wait for anyone. The faster the better, that was their motto. It was why even though I was only 3 hours away, they didn’t even wait for me. Thankfully, my youngest sibling was there. She saw dad before they were sending him away for good.
My dad is only 60, such a young age for seniors to have parted early. He lived a good life, a kind of life that never wants to be inconvenience of others. After his retirement, he spent his life quietly, traveled around and tried his best to make amends of his past mistakes.
And despite all the disagreement and conflicts that he and I had, I’d remember all the good parts and cherish the good memories that we had together. Because I think that’s what matter and he deserves that much, to be remembered for all of his good deeds.
These past two days, my hands are a little bit tied. Culturally, we have 7 days to mourn. During those days, usually friends or relatives come to visit. Then, as a host, we have to serve them food and host functions every evening where people come to visit the house to pray for the deceased. So these past two days, the house The house is often busy from early morning to late at night. I didn’t even get the chance to use my phone, laptop or really sit down. It’s why I can’t even say proper thank you to everyone. I soon will. Thankfully at home, we got help from our aunts and uncles to host these guests.
While I am incredibly at loss, a part of me felt relieved that he was freed of his ailment. He no longer had to suffer from his illness that was slowly eating him away. He was freed of the torture fairly quick. I can only hope that he could really rest in peace and be in a better place.
