What a fascinating place to be to remind myself that all these years I have had a non-linear career path and a good reminder that education is important. These days, I am closer to the world of consulting, corporation, and academia that made me have the need to reposition myself. So, I had this question once again, who am I professionally?

In my early 20s, I spent a lot of time writing, traveling, experiencing life, and experimenting with failed business and ideas.

Hear me out, despite my other life that looks poor on paper, I have this set of family that made me privileged enough to play around a bit with my life. Somehow this idea made me too relaxed cause I have this in the back of my mind that I am someone with a back-up plan.

Ironically, I used to say I was a person without a back up plan. Technically, I did. I just refuse to associate with them and try life in Hard Mode, which was a silly move in hindsight.

Since reconnecting with them and bringing what I learned outside to their organization, I am getting a lot closer to consulting and more structured environments.

In my day-to-day job, customers are now called clients, stakeholders and so on. While this transition isn’t quite shocking to me, I regularly felt that sense of doom.

Technically, I shouldn’t be on LinkedIn to find more jobs. I have a whole new organization to manage. Picture that!

The thing is, I doubted myself a bit. In my youth, I had this vigor to be the agent of change and wanted to land myself a leadership type of role. These days, I found myself to be assuming that position again.

So, why am I still looking for jobs?

Since this is my writing out lout type of thoughts, honestly, I feel scared. I had way too many failures in the past that made me wonder if I could even pull it off. That made me feel like I have the need to look for more jobs to get more of my feet into corporate world.

Or maybe someone can talk me out of it 😂

But I know that this time, I am more equipped with financing, skills, and connection. I didn’t really have those before, and it was challenging to find talents to do what I need to get done with the money I had. Or maybe it was just an excuse that getting a proper job wasn’t really my priority, coupled with debilitating depression and losing sight of who I wanted to be in life. That said, finding job was the least of my priorities throughout my early 20s

Now, thinking about going back to corporation or at least being around in corporate environments, I need to learn a lot more things. For skills, I have no doubt that I could be pulling it off but it’s the layers and nuances of corporate world that I might have need to learn. Think about that subtlety of how to dress, how to speak, how to network and all that. I can’t just treat it like a startup scene where things look a lot more egalitarian and friendly. Corporation has hierarchy to follow and for someone who just re-entered that can feel dauting.

But best of luck to me, I guess. It could be a bit strange because many basically want to exit corporation and here I am starting out once again. I recognize that I still need a lot to learn from people and how to best scale a business that creates impact in the world and not just stop in the phase of ideation but making it through.