Celebrating Smallest Wins During Tough Times

Sometimes I wonder what goes through people's mind or even family when I am just normally living my life. Sometimes I wonder how should caregiver looks like. Aren't they also allowed to be happy and normally living their life? Should we constantly look in despair and beg for help all the damn time?

Sadly, looking like I am in despair isn't something I learned quite well and almost impossible to do. I'll look like I'll have fun despite whatever challenge life throws at me.

Afterall, nobody likes chronic complainers. Besides, I believe that when life throws you lemon,you just have to find ways to turn into delicious and fresh lemonade. So, today it's all about that, how I celebrate some small wins during this tough time.

It took a while for me to reflect that basically I've got what I dreamed of. Many years ago, I dreamed to have a house where I have the full control on how its run.

Obviously, that stems from the aesthetic videos I've seen and their perfectly curated home. Well, now I have a house that I have full control on except it isn't as aesthetic as in those perfectly curated home.

Still, technically my dream came true.

The thing is what I don't really consider was the aesthetic part is going to take me a bit of work 😂

Rather than hoping that my place magically turns into an aesthetic house, I decided to acknowledge that it's going to take some work to transform the space into the house I want to live in. So, these days, in the morning I have a habit to declutter the whole space and that means throwing old items that don't really have its purpose in the house anymore.

During the evening,I typically would make dinner for my mom who's at the hospital. To save costs, we decided to do this since buying food from the hospital can always add up. My dad typically stays there more than a week at a time. The food that I am cooking varies too but lately, I enjoy having this Gyeran Bap, the Korean version of fried egg with rice. It's really simple to make it basically just fried egg, sesame oil, soy sauce and that's it. My mom likes it too and it's why she doesn't mind eating this often.

After hospital these days , I typically round up all the trash and that was when I have more energy to do some heavy lifting and going outside. I don't really like going out during the day because it's too noisy and there are too many visual clutters. I slowly accept that I am okay with either starting my day at 3 AM or around the afternoon 🤣 cause again, the balance I was looking for is going to be some type of vain pursuits.

Just realizing that it's fine if the balance is out of reach and if our life isn't always the way we want it to be were my smallest win. We simply just have to live in it and celebrate every smallest win even that includes just getting out of bed.