Brain Dump | Morning Musings

Reflecting on what I’ve been doing lately, I realized, I achieved faster than when I was not telling anybody about my plans or goals. I just do it without telling a single soul and just working hard to achieve those. But as you know, the goals that I shout in public often fall through halfway.

I did an experiment the other week about eating a lot healthier food. In the past, I was often writing something before the event was done but lately, I wrote something after it’s done. For example, instead of talking about “ How I am going to eat healthier for next 7 days”, I ended up writing about “ What I ate after the week passed”. These two yield different kinds of results.

With the first one, my plan usually falls through after the fifth day. I usually felt some kind of burden to keep up and seeing it more like a chore, rather than something that I have to be doing. While the second one feels a lot less burden. In fact, my choices were a lot more realistic and reasonable. It doesn’t just stop in eating healthy but also a lot of things in my life that work the same. Instead of prematurely sharing about it, I would do something first, get it done and only tell the experience later on.

It is the same with my coffee/cafe visit that has been racking up in my folders. In the past, I would write about them as soon as I got back home but these days, they can stay about more than a week before I would be compelled to talk about it and look into it again. There’s also a difference in terms of the writing as well as how I expressed it rather than when I immediately wrote it.

Even my morning brain dump is actually the things that I’ve been thinking about throughout the week and I am letting them out while I am sipping my coffee. Just like the thing that I am talking about today, “Goal setting”. It has been bugging me a lot and only today it is time for me to let it out because I need to free up my mind and space so I can come up with other things to ponder on.

Recently I’ve also become an aunt. I got a little excited welcoming my niece into the world. I was in the delivery room for a while and saw the whole process. It was pretty nerve-wrecking but also such a joyous moment.

I noticed that these past 3-4 weeks, my life has been filled with family & friends. They take up most of my energy & my day often goes like, waking up, family, family, dealing with more family matters, hanging out with friends, and so little time for me. In the end, whenever I am trying to open hive and be active online, I just don’t have the energy to do that.

That made me realize that energy is the real deal. It doesn’t matter if you have 24 hours but if you have 0 energy to get through the day, that’s over. It’s why learning how to have more energy and conserving them is my biggest priority currently. I don’t know about you but I love having more energy since I have to do so many things.

Back into my cocoon.

Before I am lashing out unnecessarily, being grumpy and saying things I didn’t mean to, I decided to just stay away from my friends a bit. It always happens when I am overly exposed to people around me. I think when I am overstimulating myself with interaction, my energy drains very quickly and I am tired of others. In the past, I let this get the best of me and I hurt an awful lot of people because I didn’t get the space I needed where I mostly enjoy being with myself every now and then.

When I am given space just to be with myself and having less exposure to another human being, my mind feels a lot more refreshed. I am also a lot nicer when I am at least 90% recharged. I usually love going to cafes but these past few weeks, the cafe has been bustling with customers that it was always packed and exhausting. So, because of that, I decided to brew my own coffee and be at home until I feel a lot more refreshed to go outside again.

Oh, one more thing... These days I am having a lot more conversation with my mom about living vs lifestyle. I think I am at that age where I start caring about my future a little bit more than I used to. All these time, I was living a lifestyle & they cost double of what “life” should be. I was using a much more laid back approach on my spending, but these days, I’ve become a lot more responsible for my spending. It was challenging at first to control some of the things I spent but since now I have some goals that require a lot of money, I am even more motivated to track my spending and choose life over lifestyle.

I am also at the age where I no longer need validation. I don’t need validation from anyone, the only thing I strive for lately is being the better version of myself. Anyhow, that’s all my morning coffee talk, feel free to disagree. See you next morning.