Brain Dump | Morning Musings

Morning everyone!

How was your weekend?

Apparently, it has been about 4 days since I was able to sit down and enjoy a great cup of morning coffee. While it is non-negotiable, there are days when I can’t have this luxury. I think that as I grow older, my kind of luxury changes each time. In the past, it was traveling but these days, just enjoying a cup of coffee in peace is a luxury itself. So, what kind of luxury do you love to indulge?

Welcome to my brain dump, it’s morning and when I am able to sit down, sipping a cup of coffee while contemplating about life and emptying it out a little.

I am currently out of town and backpacking. I don’t know why I hardly found joy in doing that anymore. I am trying to find more reasons to backpack because it is the “cool” thing now except these days I feel like it is no longer a “cool” thing. From someone who used to enjoy taking the cheapest transportation and accommodation, I am still in disbelief myself. Am I still legible claiming myself a wanderlust?

Another aspect that I find pretty intriguing is that I didn’t mind taking any economy train and the cheapest place to stay at when I was out of the country but back home, I felt a little hesitant taking those services. Trust me, it isn’t worse than what I have experienced but somehow I felt hesitant. So, these days I am trying to rekindle the joy of backpacking like that and hoping to find if there are still sparkles that made me have butterflies.

My perception of timing is a little off and I thought the last time I ever traveled was years ago but apparently, it’s only about a few months since my last backpacking trip that was truly a life changing moment. Yet strangely,I didn’t really have that much of a plan to venture more. Perhaps, it was because everything got pushed back in the back of my mind ever since I am dealing with the loss of family members and my adoptive dad got hospitalized. I already promised a few friends to see them again and I am definitely making them happen. I suppose, I just need to really close down a chapter of my life.

Speaking of new chapters, I am definitely in a transition phase. This new life chapter is totally unknown and feels a little scary. Sometimes, I question myself if I would be happy; as I am truly closing the book that I used to know.

A lot of people thought I looked and sounded happier. Perhaps I am, or perhaps I am just confused. In my previous life chapter, I made a lot of bittersweet decisions but one thing I am always truly grateful about is to have found this space, a space where I documented every-single- thing of my personal development journey. If you stick long enough, I do hope I am progressing, not regressing. For those of you who stick around, thank you for being my friend.

My new life chapter might not need the old me. I don’t know if backpacking would have its place but I suppose, you can’t really take seeing new culture and experience out of me. I would have gone bonkers if I spent a year without seeing or learning stuff about different cultures or simply walks of life. I have a few things lined up but that has to wait for a bit. I feel like my life lately is like being stranded on a boat during an intermittent heavy storm. I can’t reach the shore yet although it is certainly visible through the eyes. The constant waves kept me from reaching it but I am sure, one of these days when the sky clears up, I could finally do all the things that have been halted for months.

My coffee is finished and I’ll see you around soon.