I am so sorry you had to go through that. It is the kind of stuff that each Latvian kid has learned at the history class past the generation of my parents. I have never experienced anything like it but somehow our parents have passed down this never forget attitude to us. Yet I can't imagine the loss you are feeling. The grief of losing years from your life you spent building something. It will take some time to get back to some sort of normality, to find a new direction, or to even feel like you are ready to take your life in your hands again. I wish nothing but strength to you! I believe after some time you will feel inspired again. I really do. Just hang in there! Hugs