One possible way to think about the God-search experience:
We are born as GOD. We experience ourselves as all there is, the nucleus of all sensation, the center of the known universe. Eventually as our brains (consciousness antenna?) develop, we individuate into our own unique expression of awareness and discover that we are separate from our mother. Later we further identify as separate from our father, siblings, others, etc.
Many retain the self-as-god mindset and craft a life of service to self. They may enjoy this experience their whole lives or they may have a crisis of faith (or non-faith, in this case) where their story of success and fulfillment hasn’t left them feeling ultimately successful or fulfilled.
Maybe they start on the "find God out there" path and delve into religion and spiritual practices, maybe even some consciousness altering experiences where the brain (consciousness receiver/distorter) fails in some way to maintain its dissociation, and they glimpse the absolute abounded oneness, the abiding non-duality, the large consciousness system, the I AM…
Where they go next is quite important. Deeper into modes of separation seeking the approval of "god-out-there" through worship, obedience, devotion, and strict adherence to a set of beliefs which some other people experienced and wrote down as a guideline to know God? Or do they go back to where they started and understand themselves again as not at all separate from God, but humbled through the seeking experience to have no egoic "I" remaining? Oneness with and as GOD, not separate from the individuated units of consciousness all around, including nature in all its wild expression.
One person believes "I am god!" in order to demand worship from others, to rule over and control others, and to gratify the desires of self which have been expanded as large as possible while remaining separate from all.
Another person believes "I am… GOD? I… AM?" and is utterly humbled to the point of experiencing non-existence of self. No separation. No ego with all its desires and suffering. Todo es Perfecto. There is just this, the fractal holographic illusion projected outward from a singular consciousness without object or observer to experience itself.
The "fruit of the spirit", as the Christian Bible calls it, is obvious in the second case and usually absent in the first. When we are around these beings, we can feel it deep in our nervous system almost like a pleasant aroma of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.
Regardless of how you experience what the word "God" points to, you enjoy breathing in this aroma deeply. May we all experience this fruit in abundance and share it via our presence everywhere we go.
What is not of the spirit is "sin" or separation from God. Instead of shaming, guilting, and attempting to eradicate this separation, we can learn from it and let the triggers we feel guide us to a more elevated conscious experience. Without separation, we can have no object and no observer. We can have no experience at all. It’s not about being perfect but about the journey back to perfection. We came here to experience all of this, and we can learn to celebrate every conscious expression.
A great Ram Das video to go along with these thoughts:
