Creating a strong bonding relationship with your child is nurturing their foundation in life as their personality is developing.
My thought is always back to my son with the way he interprets things in life is too fragile.
His unpredictable behaviors, difficult attitude, and dependence on others are his traits that I need to explore more to break down his thought process.
He lives beneath the unknowing shadows with unmanageable future, his abundance of love is hard to reach due to boundaries in his own world. The deep of the ocean still diveable but people's mind is only through sharing if they are willing to do so.
I wish there is a switch button to turn it on, maybe just like a CPU that is easy to fix or to replace.
I'm sure I will never have to face the haters when they don't like my son's behavior, or I don't have to stay awake at 2 am because my son woke up and won't go back sleep until 6am.
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I prepare my mind for all kinds of his meltdowns, and retaliate with all powers I have to gain his trust that my love is there to comfort him and it's still way too baffling for him to understand.
It is heartbreaking to see his struggles through his tears, seeing his anger and his aggression toward himself or others. An autistic kid is not like a quiet kid that will crack their silence by breaking the ice, an autistic has unbreakable barriers.
It's not GOD willing. God created everything perfectly in the way it's supposed to be, so can how can autism happen everywhere? Is that science's mistake then? Nobody knows. While all our family's gene on both sides are perfectly normal.
I won't deny, there's some sweet and funny things he does. He will give me a glass of water if I ask him, "I want to drink water" or he begs me to get something with the word PLEASE over and over again on his ipad talker device.
It's essentially a requirement for me to say, "He has autism" in public to acknowledge people, so they won't give us a hateful look because of my son's weird behaviors.
I got it a lot, some moms pull their kids aside when my son is wearing a T-Shirt with AUTISM symbol in it. It just brings smile to my lip, although that's a bitter one to digest.
Autism in general is also super neat, including my son. He can't see something that's out of place and be okay with it. Such a simple thing, he won't let the ducks out of the pond water. He will madly chase the ducks back to the water because to him duck has to swim in the water.
Same thing at home, everything he has, has to be in the same place, otherwise it will be a disaster.
Filtering down every negative thing towards positive things will at least ease my mind, even though deep down my heart is wounded.