Sucking up for bigger upvotes than your own, will stand you in very good stead!

Looking for pity is also to be highly recommended, although this can be dangerous road to go down.
The upvotes for being utterly pitiful will stack your hive high, no doubt about that - but the danger of losing any self respect that you have for yourself is great.
_If you're not careful, you'll find yourself putting down on your CV, 'professional brown noser' - and that's not good outside of this ecosystem.

Perhaps I should post something that makes me look depraved in some way with a witty title so more people will read the title,

NEVER, I reapeat never, post anything that may expose you having a personality of any kind - 'tis the kiss of death to ever getting ahead in these parts.

Practice daily 'blandness'! (it's similar to 'mindfulness' but even more boring) , and things will work out just fine for you.