Today, my heart got broken. This is so cliché, and I already feel stupid writing it, but, I really need to tell someone, and who better than you?
I have no time for love or relationships, I'm way too busy with work, and academics, and family, and myself. These are what I'd told myself, until I'd believed them. Then she came along, and now I'm lost.
It was a Thursday, and it was a business meeting. She was a client, and I had no business getting involved unprofessionally with her, but on that day, all my work ethics flew out the window, and I found myself grinning like a schoolboy whose prom proposal got accepted by his crush.
The meeting was supposed to last for two hours, so when she asked if I wanted to go someplace else, I should have said, No, and I should have gone home. But I didn't, and we wound up at a bar. I'm supposed to have no business being around cigarettes, but when she lit one, and asked me if I was comfortable at the bar, I said, Yes. She was older, and supposed to be my client, so when she said, she liked me, and wanted to hang out again, I should have said, No. But I said I liked her too, and would like to hang out again. I told myself that I would get over the feeling in a day, but I found myself looking forward to our next meeting. By the time we'd hung out three times, she was all I could think about.
She never called, and when I did, she didn't take them. When I complained, she said she was busy with work, It was annoying, but I overlooked. Whenever we were together, it seemed like I was her interest, but when we were apart, we were like strangers. I saw the signs, and I didn't like all the wrong things, I should have stopped there, but I kept going. When she told me one month later, today, that she wasn't interested in a relationship, and didn't want to see me again, I shouldn't have been shaken by the news, but I am. I should have come back home to my senses by now, but I'm still lost in Wonderland. I'm heartbroken.