Pursuing happiness is not at all the same as being happy which is fleeting, dependent on circumstances. Happy times are great, but happy times pass, they have to because time passes. The pursuit of happiness is more elusive; it is life-long, and it is not goal-centered. What you are pursuing is meaning - a meaningful life - and it isn't fixed, but changing the course of the stream, which takes a lot of energy. There are times when it will go so wrong that you will barely be alive, and times when you realise that being barely alive, on your own terms, is better than living a bloated half-life on someone else's terms. The pursuit isn't all or nothing, it's all and nothing.
