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<center><sup>I'm so transparent you can't even see me</sup></center>
Preamble
What's a new aspiring company without a PR transparency policy outlining goals, techniques, anything you want to know basically. The policy itself isn't much, questions asked will be answered to the best of my ability, data use, product headway, etc, etc. What might be a little more interesting is my intention of actually running with this. I mean, if anyone has read the couple of posts I've made about this project, they would likely think it was satire or comedy. Don't get me wrong, I have seriously been designing a tiny little bird shower for my parakeet, and the company idea was just some fun little rambles, but hearing a story from a friend of mine made me think. The story goes like this:
My friend's kid watched some kid's show where the kids on the show made ridiculous amounts of money from a fairly derpy idea. Being the new age contemporary parent that my buddy is, he went along with his kid's idea to do the same thing as on the show. As he's telling me this, I'm like alright, pretty standard lemonade stand type stuff, but this is where the revelation came. He let it go farther than most people would. The idea itself was literally lemonade, but nonetheless they went to the bank to look for a loan, he facilitated his kid's calls to several manufacture/distribution offices, and other things like that. They listened to what all those people said, and they even tried walmart, and they made a business plan. Of course, most of it was humoring the kid, I realize that, but still. The ease with which they did it made me realize that there is little reason not to try, especially with an idea like Tiny Little Bird Showers™. Sure there is a case to be made for the risks associated with trying to set-up a semi-legitimate company, but it'd always be easy to say it was just a joke bro, or that I was humoring a kid. Even then, it would still be a great learning experience seeing how far one can truly get. Plus, it would probably be hilarious.
The company is officially legitimizing. To make things more interesting, let me outline how I want to go about it.
Short-term initialization plans:
If anyone is interested, I will post actual letters and calls I make to corporate entities regarding my up and coming company. I will legit call whoever I can, or anything recommended. How many companies out there can say that all business talk and background dealings are going to be completely out in the open. This is the new-age and we're bringing the phone call back.
Seriously though, if people want to see it, I will go out and try all the things. I realize my audience is microscopic and that there is a high chance not a single person has read about Tiny Little Bird Showers™, but I certainly think it could be an insightful journey that a lot of people would be keen on watching. For this reason, I will be focusing on Twitter for a bit.
- Twitter sucks, seriously. The account I tried to make got blocked immediately.
- Will focus on setting aside differences and using Twitter if the stupid thing'll let me.
- Will try to gain audience on Twitter by directing carefully concentrated meme attacks on notable Twitter accounts.
- After company takes off, will buy Twitter and run it into ground.
There's the plans for the Twitter aspect of all this, next is:
- Talk to bank.
- Talk to factory that makes bird toys probably.
- Talk to distributors.
- Talk to Walmart.
- Talk to Pet shops.
- Actually try to call Shark Tank.
That's all going to be legit, on the record, public access records, unless there are rules and stuff, in which case screw them... to an extent. Ahh, feels good, going to help birds out everywhere with this. For real though, this isn't a big genre is it? There is not that much info on how these things usually go for the little guy. No point not to try, show it off, maybe help some birds out there, lambos, why not, anything can happen.
Anyways, this is the new short-term initialization transparency policy. Get twitter, tweet, get audience, call rich people. That's the plan!