Do you see that bird there, look at his supreme enjoyment of taking a wonderful bath. This is my passion. I have been fascinated with birds ever since I was a tiny little shitter and as I have spent around 9 years with my good pal Floyd the parakeet who I fairly recently found out was actually a girl bird but that's besides the point, uhh, yes she loves baths in the sink. Seeing that not everybody has or wants the hassles associated with a fountain, how can we provide a safe and small solution to enable birds to take showers whenever they want. I mean look at this guy:
He seems to be having a wonderful time yes, but that's a big fountain. Plus there is lots of splashing going on and who wants bath water in their spaghetti because the kitchen and dining room are together and tiny like everything else in this crappy apartment. I'm ok, this is an ok apartment, this isn't about me. This is about birds like the guy above who need these moments of pure clarity and ecstasy, yet are confined in a tiny little house which many humans call a cage for some reason. What we need are Tiny Little Bird Showers™ to fit everyone's busy tiny lifestyle. Look at this guy:
All pics are CC0
Obviously sad and stricken with shame, this poor tiny little bird is forced to take a bath in a puddle like some savage. We are not savages, nor should the birds be. My Tiny Little Bird Showers™ could work anywhere giving birds from any background the opportunity to preen like royalty. They would be suited more for tiny little interior bird houses sometimes incorrectly called cages but with a power supply and internet connection they should be able to work anywhere.
I know what you're wondering, what is this product really like, can I see it? No, not yet it's a surprise but it'll be magnificent. I am telling you. It will have a tiny little door, a sensor to detect awaiting birds as well as if a queue is forming so it can inform the bird currently using it that there are other birds waiting. An over the top filtration system because birds are tough and shit everywhere, and of course, an onboard raspberry pi which manages the onboard systems and syncs to a blockchain based network which gathers data on the shower's use and adapts the systems accordingly.
I understand that it may seem excessive, but do not fret, each Tiny Little Bird Shower™ will be sold as a core item in multiple sizes with only the base functionality. Separate packages will be offered which add the pi and sensors. Think about this company VERY seriously because it is obviously a very worthy cause. Just try to imagine a world where each person has a Tiny Little Bird Shower™ bridging the divide between man and bird. Imagine being able to access your bird's shower remotely, not with SSH or BS like that, but by blockchain. I hope this first project here on Fundition goes smooth and properly introduces me to the future. The future is now!