Each and every morning we wake up for the long run to accomplish throughout the day in the high hopes of creating a beautiful future ahead and yet at the end of the day we return home from somewhere we don’t wanna visit tomorrow. The nights are always accompanied with emptiness and sorrow pushing us to the point where the future doesn’t matter anymore. And the feelings of inferiority kicks in leaving us blinded in the midst of the people and we don’t care about their presence. We ask to ourselves “Am I okay? Am I good enough?” and then the broken soul and heart cries together at once ” No I’m not okay, I am in pain, sometime it burns, sometimes it pinches and sometimes I bleed my emotions through tears!”.
We build a tall wall within us, a wall built by our insecurities and unpleasant memories just to protect us from the painful fear we have imagined that will overwhelm the coming days in future. Keeping away from the crowd we feel that we are safe on our own and yet we are unknowingly being devoured by our lonesome thoughts. Each and every moment we want to feel alive with someone and yet are scared of the things getting emotional with them might result to being deceived again and again. Our thoughts will devour us the moment we feel safe alone then being with rest of the people.
And not only the loneliness will be the consequence we have to suffer from, but soon the insomniac nights will kick in and you’ll long for the reasons of being so unfulfilled. The answers shall always be within you and yet you’ll seek it in someone else’s concern and affection but will still give them different tests to cross those high walls of yours to connect with you. They will reach till you and stab your heart with a dagger with an ivory handle, you’ll experience a painful hurt within and still yearn to have them back. Chasing them everywhere they go, running through the streets you met them and pass through the alleys where you held hands and took vows of how you human will last till the hundreds of years and at last still be separated in couple of hundred days. Was it worth? Worthy of your vast concerns equal to the Dead Oceans?
The High walls were never necessary, the walls that stood so firm and tall supported by your insecurities and fear. The walls that were trying to judge every people and the walls that would let the masked personalities in and the trues to be long gone. You have your answers still act like a fool and dishonest with your feelings. The solutions to all these conflicts inside your head will end when you will let your soul touch you the gentle way you want to be touched. On the long run of life be true to yourself and not to them who are temporary, they will fade away like the clouds of a rainy nights, don’t let their absence take over you to the places you fear of getting trapped inside but keep them alive in your memorial funeral inside of mind labeled as the beautiful past.
