The world is always buzzing. To be honest, the noise gets too much for me sometimes. I can't even begin to explain how many times I’ve questioned the whole point of existence. And even now, I’m still trying to wrap my head around what it truly means to exist.
Questions like, "Why are we actually here?" plague my mind every time I close my eyes to sleep.
It just feels like life is a constant race; you either keep up or get left behind. And no one, absolutely no one, likes getting left behind. It’s not even the failure that stings the most; it’s the rejection.
Watching the people you grew up with, the ones you literally played in the sand with, suddenly relocate abroad, get their master’s degrees, buy their first cars... Some are constantly sharing finance quotes and business wins on their WhatsApp statuses, while all I manage to post are memes. Just little things to remind people on my contact list that “Hey, I’m still here. I just haven’t made my hair in months, so I can’t really take pictures right now, might scare everyone away.”
Some are even getting married while I haven’t managed to retain a single talking stage. (I highkey blame the talking stages, though. Most of them were unserious men anyway.)
The point is: the world just keeps moving. It really puts the old saying, “time waits for no man” into perspective.
It would be a lie if I said I don’t feel pressured sometimes. I do. But there’s a difference between feeling pressure and allowing yourself to fold under it, and that’s one thing I refuse to do to myself.
But it wasn’t always this way. I had to earn that “don’t fold” mindset.
Something happened just a year after I graduated from university. A coursemate relocated abroad. She would always post her updates on WhatsApp, so it was easy to keep up. It felt like Keeping Up With (Her Name, which I won’t be mentioning).
From the airport alone, she had mouths hanging open with her designer travel boxes. Trust me, I know how much those cost. As if the relocation itself wasn’t overwhelmingly expensive enough, her luxury luggage had me wondering where on earth she was getting the money.
In her new country, she lived in one of the most expensive neighborhoods. Less than a month in, she got a car. Long story short, turns out she had stolen her boyfriend’s business funds. Millions of naira.
Weeks after reporting her to the police with no results, the guy resorted to creating a "wanted" poster with her picture, offering a ransom to anyone who could help find her. She was eventually tracked down and deported to Nigeria. Things went ugly from there.
But here’s the thing: the biggest lesson for me wasn’t what she did. It was what happened to me while she was flaunting her success. I was spiraling, almost depressed. Telling myself, “This is someone I graduated with...”
Discovering the truth made me realize how many others might be living under the guise of having it all figured out when, in reality, they’re just as confused as I am about life.
Since then, I stopped living my life according to someone else’s watch. I just do the best I can and leave the rest to God.
This and truly enjoying whatever the moment brings are how I slow things down for myself in a world that seems to run on deadlines, timelines, and constant rush.
This is my entry to Slow Living Sunday Prompt by The Minimalist Community.
All images are mine.
