SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder is not what I'll be talking about.
Many things in life make me sad, but many more make me so very happy!
Have you ever thought just how close happiness and sadness are, and how our emotions sometimes swing from sad to happy or happy to sad, in the blink of an eye?
Can one measure feelings? Yes, of course!
The night I received a call from the hospital to say my darling man was gone, was the beginning of a long hard grieving process. It has been the worst kind of loss! Feelings of immense sadness still hit me out of nowhere, and that hole in my heart will never heal!
I've experienced sorrowful times with unexpected tragic losses of close family and friends, but I always had my man by my side!
It still makes me so very sad that he did not get to travel to our son's newly adopted country across the waters. He was super excited at the prospect, many basics were packed already, but ten days before we were due to depart to the Netherlands, he suffered a setback.
He left full of hope but never came back home again. I must have cried buckets of tears since that day.
I'm a big sentimentalist, and will cry happy, or sad tears at special occasions - happy tears for the people celebrating, and sad tears knowing a special loved one is no longer there to celebrate.
Some music or movies also make me sad and have me grabbing for tissues as the tears just won't stop flowing!
What else makes me sad? Cruelty to the vulnerable, unjustness, especially when there's nothing I or anyone else can do to change a situation!
Now that my older son lives in Europe, I can no longer get into the car, and drive the six hours up to Johannesburg. It now means applying for a Schengen Visa and many hours in the air to get there. That makes me so very sad. We video-call, but it's just not the same, a mother longs to feel the touch of her child, no matter what age they are.
It breaks my heart when my children are hurting and I cannot help them.
Then some people have a skewed sense of humour and think it's hilarious to crack a joke at the expense of someone else. That is hurtful and not funny at all! I feel sad not only for the person who's being made fun of but also for the Joker.
Is that the only way they get to feel good about themselves?
There's a big difference between light-hearted teasing, and making fun of someone. Sadly that kind of joker cannot see it! Seeing the person being made fun of trying very hard to laugh, makes me very sad.
Sadly, I've come across a couple of trolls and bullies here on Hive as well. Just like poison, they pollute our beautiful Hive! Thinking about it, bullying makes me both angry and sad.
Anger and sadness often go hand in hand, right?
When I heard of a friend who discovered that her husband had been cheating on her, I was very angry but also immensely sad; her whole world was turned upside down. Big decisions had to be made, moving out of the home she lived in for many years, and having to start over in a strange new world as a solo traveller!
Unfortunately, I'm like a sponge, soaking up the hurts of others. Mom Lily used to tell me I must stop taking on the troubles of the world, but when one is made that way, it's almost impossible to change. However, for my own sanity, I had to change.
Heartbreaking sadness has followed me throughout different seasons of my life, but so has immense happiness. At the end of the day, I chose to remember the happy times, be happy, and not let sadness overwhelm me!
This is my response to The Silver Bloggers Writing Contest - in collab with @ericvancewalton: Memoir Monday.
Take a peek at that link and tell us what makes you sad - you stand to win a prize from a whopping pool of HBD or Hive!
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