Oddly. The thought of "how do i have less friction" can be overwhelmed when we try to control the situation.
I tried that before, and often time it was a disaster because it compromises connecting with people who are imperfect and a whole lot of "friction" due to the competition of "who gets the control to lessen the friction" if you know what I mean.

Ultimately, I always have to surrender that very first question to: "Lord, how do You want to solve this?"

Not because I am lazy, but because like you, my brain may not be able to handle it well.