How do people face difficult events that change their lives? How do you react to traumatic events such as the death of a family member, an accident, loss of work, a difficult illness, a bad economic situation and other catastrophic situations? Many people manage to adapt over time to situations that dramatically change their lives and that increase their state of tension. What allows them to adapt? This is due to resilience.
Let's see what is Resilience; according to the definition of the Royal Spanish Academy of Language is the human capacity to assume flexibility situations limit and overcome them; but in psychology we add something more to the concept of resilience: not only thanks to it we are able to face crises or potentially traumatic situations, but we can also emerge strengthened from them.
So, resilience is the process of adapting well to adversity, to a trauma, tragedy, threat, or sources of significant stress, such as family problems or personal relationships, serious health problems or stressful work or financial situations and emerge stronger. . It means "bouncing" from a difficult experience, as if one were a ball or a spring.
Resilience comes from the Latin term resilio, «to go back, to jump back, to stand out, to bounce». The term was adapted to the use in psychology and other social sciences to refer to people who despite suffering stressful situations are not affected psychologically by them. The word resilience designates the ability of steel to recover its initial shape despite the blows it may receive and despite the efforts that can be made to deform it. The word comes from the Latin resalire, "jump and jump again", "restart".
Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. People commonly show resilience. It is not a feature that people have or do not have. It includes behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed by anyone. Being resilient does not mean that the person does not experience difficulties or anguish. Emotional pain and sadness are common in people who have suffered great adversities or traumas in their lives. In fact, the road to resilience is probably full of obstacles that affect our emotional state.
The analysis of psychology regarding resilience has changed over the years. For a long time, these types of responses were considered unusual or pathological. However, current psychologists recognize that it is a common response as a form of adjustment in the face of adversity. Resilience implies restructuring our psychological resources according to the new circumstances and our needs. In this way, resilient people are not only able to overcome the adversities they have to live, but they go a step further and use these situations to grow and develop their full potential.
For resilient people "there is no hard life, but difficult moments." And it is not a simple terminological disquisition, but a different and more optimistic way of seeing the world since they are aware that calm comes after the storm. In fact, these people often surprise us by their good humor and make us wonder how it is possible that, after all they have gone through, they can face life with a smile on their lips.
Characteristics of people who practice resilience:
Self-knowledge is a very powerful weapon to face adversity and challenges. They know what their main strengths and abilities are, as well as their limitations and shortcomings. In this way, more objective goals can be drawn that not only take into account their needs and dreams, but also the resources available to them.
They are creative: They know how to take advantage of all the resources. Recycle the experiences and get something good out of the bad. From the vile, bring out the precious.
They trust in their abilities: They do not lose sight of their objectives and feel sure of what they can achieve. They also recognize the importance of teamwork and do not lock themselves in, and know when it is necessary to ask for help.
They assume difficulties as an opportunity to learn: They take on crises as an opportunity to generate change, to learn and grow. They know that those moments will not be eternal and that their future will depend on the way they react. When faced with adversity they ask themselves: what can I learn from this?
Practice mindfulness or full consciousness: Even without being aware of this millennial practice, resilient people have the habit of being fully present, of living in the here and now and have a great capacity for acceptance. For these people, the past is part of yesterday and is not a source of guilt and anxiety, while the future does not confuse them with their share of uncertainty and concerns. They are able to accept experiences as they arise and try to get the most out of them. They enjoy the small details and have not lost their capacity to be amazed by life.
They are objective and optimistic: They know what their potential is, the resources they have at their disposal and their goals. By being aware that nothing is completely positive or negative, they strive to focus on the positive aspects and enjoy the challenges. These people develop a realistic optimism, also called optimism, and are convinced that no matter how dark their day is, the next day may be better.
They are charismatic: So they are generally surrounded by people who maintain a positive attitude towards life and avoid those who behave like emotional vampires. In this way, they manage to create a solid support network that can support them in the most difficult moments.
They are calm: They know that you can not control all situations, they learn to deal with uncertainty and they feel comfortable, even if they do not have control.
They are adaptable: They have enough flexibility to adapt their plans and change their goals when necessary. They do not close themselves to change and are always willing to evaluate different alternatives, without obsessively clinging to their initial plans or to a single solution.
They are perseverant: They do not renounce their goals, on the contrary, if something distinguishes them is their perseverance and their ability to fight. The difference is that they do not fight against windmills, but take advantage of the current's sense and flow with it. These people have an intrinsic motivation that helps them to stand firm and fight for what they propose.
They are animated and animators: they have a great sense of humor, they are able to laugh at adversity and take a joke out of their misfortunes. Laughter is your best ally because it helps you stay optimistic and, above all, allows you to focus on the positive aspects of situations.
They are synergistic: They seek the help of others and social support.
It is suggested to explain to children and adolescents what resilience is as part of the emotional and social development of the individual, to achieve social adaptation and highlight the strengths and opportunities in a negative situation to move forward in the life project. Resilience is essential to determine confidence, optimism, self-esteem and to believe and develop the ability to overcome adversity.
In conclusion, resilience is the ability to face adversity and adapt to tragedies, traumas, threats or severe stress. That we are resilient does not mean that we do not experience difficulties or anguish, because at some point in our lives we all feel sadness, uncertainty, discomfort or pain, whether physical or emotional, but in spite of all the obstacles that come our way and the great impact that situations have on us, even so, we are able to overcome and adapt well over time.
All of us have been able to be resilient at some point in our lives, but especially nowadays, due to the critical economic moment, insecurity and many others that affect us, we can say that there are many resilient people. In addition, resilience is not something that we can have or not, but are a set of thoughts, emotions and behaviors that can be learned and developed by anyone.
