Great post! I didn't know anything about all those theories. Just a comment, as a physicist, the entropic one is really ill-defined. A human is indeed very far from any closed system (knowing that we interact a lot with our environment). This being said, it is by far a better proposal than the pseudoscientific ones (nice pic from @pab.ink by the way ;) ).

I was about to ask about the telomere stuff when I noticed the conclusion subtitle. And then you mentioned them ;) For the fun useless fact, I actually discovered telomeres in reading articles on Steem a while ago.