Did you just asked for my excuse for being awake at midnight? Well it is very simple and that is because it is the only time in the day that truly belongs to me. As a mother of two, my days are filled from the moment I open my eyes. Before the sunis even fully rises, I am already needed by that little voices calling my name, by the small hands that depend on me, and by responsibilities that cannot be delayed. From morning until night, my time is rarely my own.
During the day, my focus is always on someone else. I plan meals, look after my kids, clean up messes that seem to appear out of nowhere, and make sure my children feel safe, loved, and supported. Even when I sit down, my mind is still working, always thinking about what needs to be done next, what I might have forgotten, what my people need, or how I can do better tomorrow. Motherhood is beautiful, but it is also demanding. There are no breaks scheduled into the day, and there is no pause button and if you press that button, it is double workload for what is next.
That is why midnight feels so special to me. It is the time when the house is quiet and my children are finally asleep, and the time finally feels like mine and mine alone. There are no questions to answer, no spills to clean, and no one calling my name. For the first time all day, I can breathe without rushing. Being awake at midnight is not about avoiding sleep, it’s about finding peace for me.
At midnight, I get to reconnect with myself. I can sit in silence, scroll through my thoughts, read my favourite Facebook novel and maybe watch movies until the time is gone. These moments may be small, but they are necessary. They remind me that I am not just a mother or a wife, but also an individual with thoughts, dreams, and feelings of my own.
I use the midnight to recharge emotionally. Throughout the day, I give too much of myself to others. At night, I slowly pour some of that energy back into me. Even if it costs me a bit of sleep, the mental rest is worth it. A calm mind can be just as important as a rested body.
So if you ask me what my excuse is for being awake at midnight, this is my answer: I stay awake because it is the only time I am not needed by anyone else. It is my quiet reward after a long day of giving. Midnight is my moment of self-care, my chance to exist without expectations. And until the day gives me more room to breathe, midnight will remain my excuse, and my comfort.
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