A lot of us grew up with a picture in our heads of the kind of adult we were going to become. We had plans but Some of us are not the adults we wanted to be, but does that mean we have failed.
We thought that by a certain age, we would have a good job, enough money, a nice home, a healthy relationship, maybe children, and most importantly, we thought we would have ourselves figured out. It's funny how life doesn't always follow the plan.
You can wake up one day and realise that you are nowhere close to the person you thought you would be. Maybe you are struggling financially. Maybe your career didn't turn out the way you imagined. Maybe you are still trying to understand yourself. Maybe you thought you would be more confident, more disciplined, more successful, or simply happier by now.
And sometimes, you look at other people and it feels like everybody else is moving forward while you are standing in the same place. That feeling can be painful.
We don't always talk about it, but I think many adults quietly carry the feeling that they are somehow failing at life.
We compare ourselves with people our age. We see someone buying a house, getting married, starting a business, travelling, getting promoted or achieving something big, and suddenly we start questioning our own lives.
"Am I behind?" "What am I doing wrong?" "Shouldn't I be further by now?"
I have come to realise that life doesn't really work that way. There isn't one particular age when everything is supposed to fall into place.
Some people figure things out early. Some people take a little longer. Some people have to start again completely. And some people are simply dealing with things nobody else can see.
That is something we often forget. We see the outside of people's lives, but we don't see the conversations they have with themselves at night. We don't see their worries, disappointments, regrets or fears.
And maybe we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves either. Being an adult doesn't mean that you suddenly have all the answers. It doesn't mean you stop making mistakes or that you always know what you are doing.
Sometimes being an adult is admitting, "I don't know." Sometimes it's starting over. Sometimes it's asking for help.
Sometimes it's accepting that the plan you had years ago isn't the plan you want anymore. And sometimes, it's simply getting through a difficult day and trying again tomorrow.
We also need to remember that growth isn't always obvious. Maybe you haven't achieved the things you wanted yet, but you have become kinder. Maybe you have learned to say no, maybe you stopped allowing certain people to treat you badly, maybe you have become more patient with yourself.
Those things may not look impressive on social media, but they are still growth.
So, if you are not the adult you thought you would be by now, I hope you don't automatically call yourself a failure. Maybe you are still becoming. Maybe life took you somewhere you didn't expect to go. Maybe you had to deal with things you never planned for. Or maybe you simply need more time.
And that is okay, we are all works in progress, I am, you are, everyone is. There is still time to change direction, there is still time to learn something new, rebuild, start again and become a version of yourself that you actually like.
So no, I don't think not becoming the adult you imagined means you have failed. Maybe it just means you are human.
And maybe, instead of asking ourselves, "Why am I not where I thought I would be?" we should sometimes ask, "What can I do with where I am now?" That question might just change everything.
Maybe the goal was never to become the person we imagined at eighteen. Maybe the goal is to become the person we are proud to be today.
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