I honestly don’t see the difference between any belief system they are all equally contradictory and strange once you start to really take a look at it!

This point is what my final piece to the puzzle was back in 2016. I think I've lived in denial for a really long time. I thought if I just waited it out my childhood faith would come back. It's true -- ALL are just as contradictory and I see that now.

It's an odd feeling when your eyes are open. I agree that hardships do move humans to seek God. I think also it's the hardships that can also deconstruct one's deity. Religion is for sure getting smaller; I think our need for it isn't the same as it was in yesteryears.