“One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.” -Brigitte Nicole
This is not the easiest for me to write about because of my own addictions. There's been a lot of resistance within me about even putting this out there. However, when inspiration comes I can’t deny it anymore.
My intention with this post is to simply soften our beliefs around addiction and addicts. First and foremost, please understand I have no formal training in chemical dependency or the psychology of addiction. This is simply my own observation from my life experiences and whatever chooses to come through me.
I believe the key to all things is awareness, and in my opinion, there is an awareness that we're missing from our conscious minds about addiction. I have been an alcoholic since the age of 13, and only recently have I truly stared my addiction in the eye. I was inspired to write this because I had a deep conversation with someone close to me who is watching a dear friend struggle with alcoholism. In two different conversations on the same day, the same message came up, and to me, that's a sign.
The idea that I want to express is very simple. What if we reach for a substance to feel happy, to feel love, and to feel good? I told you the idea was simple. But what if we intuitively understand that feeling good is our essence? What if addicts just want to feel good more of the time and reach for a substance to do it? What if these big-hearted people are just tired of being depressed, or afraid, or stressed out, or angry?
When we don't feel good and we feel those terrible feelings we know something is off inside of us instinctually. We want to shift to feeling happy again or at least to neutral. Then sometimes we reach for a substance to get us there. Maybe it is a drug, either over-the-counter or not, or maybe alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, ecstasy, nicotine, caffeine, sugar, sex, pornography, television, food, love, appreciation, acceptance, etc. Sometimes the feeling of acceptance can feel like heroin and we do the craziest things to feel that feeling. Or maybe it’s just me. However, any time we reach for something outside of ourselves in order to shift our mood and change our state of being, it becomes our drug and will be an addiction if we make a habit of doing it.
In reality, we are all addicted to feeling good. Some of us just don’t know how to make this shift inside of us without a substance. That is why I am saying we might need to soften the way we look at addicts because it would be crazier if these people were just alright with feeling like shit.
Wow, this is tough. Okay, I have a very dear friend that has serious problems with methamphetamines. It wasn't until I began to understand the idea I'm expressing that I started to soften how I looked at her and the situation. Before this happened, I would just label someone a meth head, or a crack head, and write them off as someone who's completely lost in their addiction. They are so buried under chemicals that their former self barely shines through; their higher self doesn’t twinkle behind the eye anymore. When I labeled them then all I wanted to do is stay away from them.
After having it happen so close to me I see now that these people just want to be happy, and the idea has been rooted in their mind that happiness comes from a drug. The drug has narrowed their vision and made them believe that the only place happiness comes from is the drug. All they want to do is feel happy all the time, that's why they're constantly yearning for the drug. Because after it wears off they feel even worse and they want to be happy again and the cycle perpetuates itself.
It's easy to judge someone like an alcoholic, who's just blackout drunk all the time. It's almost blatant to see that they're harboring some kind of anger, depression, hate, or self-loathing that they cannot bear to move through sober. They can't face it, or they don't want to, or worse they don’t even know it’s there. All they know is they feel like crap.
What I'm saying to you, friends, is what if we just let everybody off the hook? I know you might react to that and say What about the crack heads that are causing crime, and stealing, and killing for drug money? What about the alcoholic who beats their children? Yes, there are terrible atrocities that are happening because of drugs and alcohol, prescription and otherwise.
However, I’m pretty sure we all have learned that the war on drugs simply doesn't work. There is an old saying that goes “Hate the sin and love the sinner.”
These people are not separate from us. They are us, they are our family and I'm saying let them off the hook and let yourself off the hook too if you are addicted to something. What I am NOT saying is to condone the terrible behavior or stay in a toxic environment. Please get yourself safe if you are around unstable or violent individuals.
I’m just saying that all of us are looking for happiness and well being, some of us are looking in the wrong places. That's all they're doing. It is not easy to stare your demons in the eye and overcome them. If it was, there would be no drug problem in this country, or in this world. There wouldn't be a happiness problem. There wouldn't be a depression problem.
There were two separate conversations that inspired this writing. One started with the question, “Why do you think so many more people are drunk, or addicted to drugs, than ever before?” That same day, I had this question posed to me, “Why do you think so many people are more open and attune to spirituality, law of attraction, open-minded awareness, philosophy, and consciousness, than ever before?” I believe the answer is the same for both.
More people are understanding that happiness is the way.
They’re realizing that money doesn't make them happy, success doesn't make them happy, the American dream of a 3-bedroom 2-bath house with a white picket fence and a marriage with 2.4 children doesn't make them happy. More and more people are looking for happiness in other places, namely drugs and alcohol, but also in spirituality, philosophy, and awareness. We're trying to find inner peace, love, understanding, happiness, and connection from different sources than what's been taught to us.
More people are also understanding that it's difficult to keep your mind on the negative things around us all the time. There's so much shit happening in this world. You can get lost in it, it can drive you insane, so people are turning to something else to get them out of it, or make them numb to it. You don’t have to choose one or the other, you don’t have to choose either a spiritual self or an addiction. But I believe that the addiction can only take you so far. It is like training wheels. It's a crutch, that eventually, you will outgrow.
Someone posed this question to me that made me stare my demon right in the eye.
They asked, "If you could have the life of your dreams, all the money, all the success, all the creativity, true love, the power to help tons of people, basically everything that you ever wanted and more…or you could have alcohol, which would you choose?" I'm not proud to say that I couldn't definitively answer with the life of my dreams immediately. I was taken aback. That's how I realized how deep my addiction was.
Please understand I'm not saying that you have to choose between the life of your dreams and an addiction. I'm not saying you have to do anything. Your life is what you choose to make of it. That question was for me to see the depth of my addiction, if it helps you too great. All I'm saying is let's be aware of the things we're putting in our body and why we are doing it. Why is it so easy to reach for something outside of us knowing that every single drug, including sugar, has a dark side, a hangover, or a crash?
The inside has so much more to offer.
What if just for a while, we could let go of the addiction? Not forever, not for life, just for a little bit. What if we could just take a little vacation and come up for air? What if, just for now, we could let go and see what it would be like to create happiness from within instead of reaching for something outside of us? It'll always be there, whatever that thing is for you, I guarantee it’s not going anywhere. You can pick it right back up where you left off, if that’s what you want.
I’m posing this to you as delicately as possible, what if there was something more? What if you could have all the happiness, all the love, all the ecstasy that you could ever feel on any drug, except experienced naturally? What if we became addicted to alignment? What if we became addicted to appreciation of all things, to self-love, to understanding, to true connection with someone else? What if you fall in love with inspiration, creativity, and passion? What if we could truly be high on life?
I wonder if we could do that, could we also lead the way for others to do the same? What if we could be the light in the darkness to call the lost home?
“There Is No Way to Happiness - Happiness Is the Way.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
Good Journey My Friends