That's deep and a lot to swallow but stuff like this needs to come out and be known by society as difficult as it is to talk about. It's hard to understand for the average person what the mind of a veteran must be like having seen and lived the horrors that you have, talking about your struggles is the only way that we can at least be of support to somebody and try to understand and support. Nobody needs to suffer alone. I'm glad you took the time to write the first time and glad that you re-posted so I could read it. Doing your best to stay on top of it and helping others cope is a selfless gift to those with the same condition, potentially saving their lives. xox