Netflix is Doing a Documentary Series About the Bitfinex Hack

frens, Bitcoin and crypto are once again hitting the big screen. Or the little screen in your pocket. However you watch Netflix, they're doing a new documentary series about the Bitfinex hack.

Bitfinex Hack Documentary

If you've been in crypto for any amount of time, you might know that in 2016, Bitfinex suffered one of the worst hacks in history. Bitfinex was one of the most used crypto exchanges at the time and these hackers were able to make off with 120,000 BTC. Yes, 120k BTC. At the time, valued around $76 million swept from users' wallets and removed from the exchange. The current value of that 120,000 BTC is worth $5,074,616,400. Over $5 billion. This makes it the most valued hack in history. You'd think this hack was pulled off by a group of criminal mastermind hackers... Maybe even a giant criminal network of super genius hackers... You'd be wrong though. It's almost hard to believe that it was pulled off by 2 people. 2 fucking goobers, one of which calls herself the Crocodile of Wall Street and makes horrendous rap music. Like when I say horrendous... Flaming pile of dog shit music. Feast your ears upon the magical musical genius of Razzlekhan.

Did you make it through the song? If so, how many brain cells did you lose? Are you even still conscious? Is this some kind of crazy fever dream? Well, unfortunately no. This happened for real. This wannabe rapper and her husband pulled off a $5 billion hack on one of the biggest crypto exchanges ever. However, I think the real crime here is her music. Arrest this woman for being a menace to society by making such horrible music. Ok, I'm done. You get my point though. This is hilarious. Now they're making a Netflix documentary about these 2 goobers. These are no Marty and Wendy Byrd from Ozark. Mmm, mmm, no no no. These are a couple of regular ass people that had no clue how to launder money without getting caught. They did all of this on the Bitcoin blockchain, which is a public ledger.

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I'm no professional money launderer, but I can tell you one way they could have gone more under the radar... The could have traded all this BTC for Monero XMR. Obviously the transactions converting the BTC to XMR would exist, but after that the trail ends. Monero uses a technology that makes transactions completely untraceable.

They could have at minimum done this so the trail kind of ends there. Once the BTC is converted to XMR, hit the dark web. Bam, you have just achieved the same thing but without it being completely public on the blockchain. Instead, these smooth brained degenerates just did a little bit of chain hopping, meaning swapping the BTC to different cryptocurrencies on different blockchains like Ethereum and Solana. Both of which are very transparent and public. Whether they bought some Bored Ape Yacht Club NFTs or Crypto Dicks on Solana, it's there. On the blockchain. Public. Forever. I'm not here to teach anyone how to launder money, no encourage it. I'm here to have a laugh as always and brighten someone's day. I find it intriguing and hilarious at the same time that we're going to see these 2 goobers represented on the big screen as the most infamous crypto hackers.