Garri • When I was little, I loved eating ‘raw’ garri. This one time I’d eaten so much and drank little or no water and then I told my elder brother who used to be the master prankster of the house then that I’d eaten lots of raw garri. He took one look at me and told me that if I go to the loo, I’d bring out a snake.
I did not use the loo for days, even when I had to go, I held on. One day, I just had to. I decided to use the visitor’s loo — just in case the snake poked its head out of my anus I could easily run out to the sitting room.
Well, at the end of the day, my cousin had to spend my loo time with me and I did not excrete any snakes that day 😂.
Pineapples • This was one fruit I was scared of eating as a child. My cousins made it feel like just tasting a pineapple — especially its eyes can make you go itchy haywire.
Planets • My elder brother the child prankster told my sister and I that Osama Bin Laden put a bomb on the earth and he was going to live in Mars and everyone on earth would die. I cried for days, always expecting the bomb to go off.
Death • Anyone who died in movies, played the roles they didn’t die in before playing the death one. I actually thought actors give their lives for the art.
Bleach • Jikked my red polo when JIK first came out so it’ll clean soup stains on it —momma was gonna woop my ass with that stain. I discovered blood can turn white too, and you can’t escape an ass whooping meant for you.
Relaxers • My younger brother rubbed JOY relaxer on his legs, mistaking it for body cream and we told him he’d grow very long hair on his legs.
