- Good evening dear Hivers, I wish you a happy weekend... Today, I share my participation corresponding to every weekend, among the proposals that our friend
@galenkp brings us, I chose a question that reflects my sentimental reality.
Would you rather... Die before your partner, or after?
Before answering this question, I will make a small preamble, so that you can connect a little with my sentimental scenario... For more than 20 years I maintained a sentimental relationship with my husband, I must admit that our courtship and marriage were immensely happy, I always felt that of the two of us I was the one I loved the most, but he said the opposite and assured that between the two of us he was dying of love for me. One of the things I most enjoyed with him was traveling, since his great passion was always to travel, my husband managed to open a tourism company, thank God that was very successful, he achieved a good stability and achieved economic prosperity that allowed him to allocate much of his savings to travel, I am grateful that through this passion I had the opportunity to visit several countries.
Now I will dedicate myself to answering the question that focuses this post... There are two things I enjoyed with all my soul, travel and our good conversations, all my life I have loved to read and my husband also loved to read, that love for reading was a great channel to share different points of view and in that way learn from each other. One of our favorite conversations was the subject of death and all that it entails. My husband always told me that when the time came for him to leave this plane, he would prefer to go before me, because his love for me was so great that if I died before him he would surely die of sadness. For many years I told him the same thing, because I felt that if he died before me, his absence would lead me to a deep depression and I would probably lose the illusion of living.
When we had been in a relationship for 20 years, I discovered that my husband had a parallel life. What I most admired about him, which was his fidelity, completely collapsed. At that moment my emotional impact was so great that I did not have the ability to put an end to my relationship, at that moment my brain became my worst enemy, since it sabotaged my coherent thoughts, a mental battle began between what I should do, what he had to do and what he could do. Faced with these three aspects, fear and the inability to act occurred, since we are more afraid of being left alone.
Here my answer to whether I preferred to die before my partner or that he died before me changed. All the priorities changed, because the reality was different from what he had lived for 20 years. Perhaps what I am going to confess reads a little cruel, but to think that my partner died before me gave me great relief in my life, this would give me the possibility of not taking the step of divorcing and of going through the mourning of his absence. I thought that if he died before me, I would have the chance to live in peace and forgive him for the damage of his betrayal. As an irony in life, my husband was infected with covid, he was in intensive care for 2 months and lost the battle for life, now he rests in peace.
Perhaps some who read me think that I was not brave enough to quit, but when my husband was infected with covid I was going to therapy to solve my sentimental situation and make a decision with great courage and courage... In my case, destiny put an end to the story and he left the earthly plane before me!
Now I have his absence, but I live my day to day from absolute peace and calmness goes hand in hand with happiness... Loneliness is not synonymous with absence but with company!
- Thank you very much for visiting my blog... I wish you a wonderful weekend!
- The photographs are my own