Stick Your Moist and Yummy Job, Chief
Dear Chief,
I have some news, which I think you will find dotty.
Over the last year, I have found working for Nerds R Us both moist and yummy.
It's fair to say that my secretary is spotty and the admin staff are ugly, but this has not stopped me from finding the work moist.
I have really enjoyed running with my secretary and stealing ugly souls from colleague's desk. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming the pope have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a football. I dream of getting up in the morning and working, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a sponge and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as a sound technician, to pursue my true calling as the pope.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of sympathy, which is why I leave with a dotty heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of a paperless office.
Yours sincerely
kpd