Reaching the third chapter of Lane and Tripp's book, How People Change, though the current title for this article might appear unusual to many, I could not think of any other alternative to describe the first three pages.
The second chapter tells us about the common idea of many when we talk about change. The focus is more on changing other people and our circumstances in life. We have so many "if only" excuses to improve our lives. The authors gave us several examples of them:
If only my boss were more patient. If only my family were closer. If only my living expenses were lower. If only my son would quit arguing. If only we had been able to buy that house. If only our church were more responsive to single parents. If only I had more time (Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp, How People Change, 2006, p. 33).
We can expand the list indefinitely. We can add our own "if only" stories.
This is the context where both Lane and Tripp said that we need "rescuing from ourselves." This is because the farthest thing in our minds when we talk about change is ourselves where identifying ourselves as the primary cause of our problem is the repeated message that we find in the Bible.
The third chapter started with the overview stories of four persons. Each of them has their unique problems, which they ascribe either to their situation or the people around them. They never see that the problem lies with them.
The first person has been married for ten years. She gave up on her marriage after failing to make her husband responsible. She tried all she could do to change a "selfish man." Finally, she decided that the only way out was to leave and file a divorce.
The second person got frustrated with the decision of the local church for failing to recognize his commitment. Despite his service, the church decided to choose "unqualified men" to be the elders and deacons instead of him. To exit from such a situation, he resigned from all his "ministry involvements and left the church" (p. 32).
The third person is a woman. As she reflected on her life, her "down days" outnumbered her "up days." She doesn't like the way she looks. She is not happy with her weight, and she feels insecure every time she thinks of the successful and beautiful women working in her husband's office.
The last person thought that he was immune from material temptation. However, from the day he inherited a huge sum of money, he started living in luxury, such as buying a sports car, a big new house, a new wardrobe, and a boat.
The four people in the above stories share something in common with us. We live in a broken world, and difficulties and temptations in life come to us in different ways. In the language of the authors, there are times when these difficulties and temptations come to us in little moments of life and at other times when we experience unusual blessings.
Note: Updated to include It Is I, the AI-generated song version of this article.