First of all thank you for viewing my post. I thought I would share these 7 STEPS to help you get a better idea to communicate with your spouse or with anyone in general.
So Ill get right to the 7 Steps.
7 Simple Steps for Getting Started How do you begin communicating with your spouse? This can be a daunting task especially when your spouse does not want to talk with you. But look no further, the steps below can help you communicate with your spouse even if you do not know where to start. It will also help you improve communication in your marriage when things are not going well. And it starts with you putting into action the seven simple steps we share below. We have used these simple steps several times to improve communication in our marriage, and we have had great successes. Honestly, we believe these communication strategies will help you get started on communicating better with your spouse today.
Even if your spouse is not willing to practice them with you, you can practice them every day, and it will make your marriage better.
May I have your attention, please? This is where you practice active listening. Make sure both you and your spouse are listening and paying attention when you have a conversation with each other. If your spouse is not listening, or paying attention, all your “words” will not be heard. When your spouse is saying something to you, stop and listen to them. They will appreciate you listening. Actually listen, not just hear. All you have to do is listen attentively to everything your spouse says to you. Don’t interrupt while they talk, and put away distractions. It’s very easy to be distracted these days due to how “busy” we all are. Distractions make it very difficult to communicate, especially when it comes to listening, paying full attention, and being engaged in the conversation. The environment you are in impacts how you communicate. A great place to start is by asking your spouse when a good time would be to have their undivided attention. Make sure it is not when your spouse is too tired, stressed, or emotionally charged.
No yelling. Do not yell at your spouse when you are trying to convey a message or talking to each other. It simply does not set the tone for effective communication. Do you want your spouse to yell at you? Ironically, we yell to be heard, but it only encourages your spouse to yell back or completely shut down. Talk to them how you want to be talked to, in a calm and respectful tone. If you feel you are getting too emotional, or angry, take a break and revisit when you are both calm. Be respectful and loving with your tone.
A mile in your spouse’s shoes. Whenever you are having a discussion, argument, or just talking, try to see the issue from your spouse’s point of view. Try to understand where your spouse is coming from, and practice empathetic listening. This will enable you to understand what your spouse is trying to communicate to you. How would your spouse best understand what you are trying to communicate to them? Remember they think differently than you.
Confirm understanding. Clarify! Ask your spouse if they understand what you are trying to communicate with them. Let them describe it to you if they understand you clearly. What words are they using? What does the word mean? This works to help you see where they are with understanding what you’re trying to convey. Don’t say everything is fine when you know something is wrong. Mean what you say to your spouse. If you are in a noisy environment, it makes it difficult to hear, let alone listen and understand what the other person is saying. Make sure the environment you are in is good enough to hear each other clearly, to be able to understand, and communicate well. When you do not hear something, do not be scared to ask. It’s better to ask now, rather than later.
Change your style and hit the home run. When your spouse does not understand something you said, try explaining it to them using different ways. Depending on what you are trying to communicate, try different verbal explanations, analogies, or even pictures. You could also use the drawing of diagrams, writing on paper, etc. If you do not understand anything, or did not hear something your spouse said, do not be shy. Ask them to repeat what they said and explain it in a way you will understand.
Take a break. If you are not making progress communicating a thought, idea, a problem, or you begin to feel frustrated, take a break. Revisit later after you have each had time to think about the issue. This is so important and extremely helpful. Sometimes we just need time to re-evaluate.
Rinse and repeat. Apply the above strategies every time you communicate with your spouse. Remember, the key is to be open-minded, listen attentively, and have patience!
These seven strategies are proven from our life and marriage experience. And I encourage you to apply them to communicate better with your spouse. I have used and continue to use these simple steps to communicate effectively with each other. They work!
In order to improve communication in any marriage, the desire and willingness of the couple is required. Therefore, you need to understand it will take intentional effort from you and your spouse to communicate effectively in your marriage.
I've used these methods through out my marriage and they definitely work. I've been married for 18 years now and I can say that communication is a major part of making the marriage last this long.
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