Recently, after some serious mental overload I took a 4-day hiatus from the constant chatter of social media. I disabled the Facebook/Messenger app from my phone in hopes of escaping (even if momentarily) the constant standing at attention and availability that social media seems to encourage and perpetuate. I had began to find myself irritated and disgruntled by the cult of opinion and the effortless entitlement people express every little and utter thought their brain can produce regardless if it’s relevant, helpful or even remotely accurate. As I disabled my online presence and made my hasty escape I anxiously waited for the melodious sounds of crickets, the lack of notifications from my phone and the ability just to “be” in a moment without looking at and/or needing my phone. Smart phones have become the new imaginary friend of our contemporary times (It’s totally true).
Initially I was surprised by the slight twinge of anxiety and dependence I felt by my pseudo-liberation from the net (I do have to maintain some connection to social media in my work so it wasn’t an absolute rupture but a partial one). I must admit there was this lurking fear in relation to what I was missing. I mean, after all, there could be some life altering post that I failed to grasp the opportunity to read, right? I made friends with this angst, and started to reflect on my relationship to technology as a means to feel validated and connected. However, even though I accept the premise that technology connects us, I still question if we are truly connecting in the ways we communicate today. As always, I find myself thinking about stuff, my place in the world and more accurately how I can authentically feel connected in a matrix of texts, tweets, snapchats and instagrams. I must confess to finding this extremely difficult as of late and if I am completely honest I will further admit to not feeling connected to much of anything lately. Consequently, I have found myself slightly repulsed in what we have evolved (or more accurately devolved) to. Have authentic human interactions become an antiquated substitute for matrix connections?
I have read about these kinds of matrix connections and have come to understand them as something called “ambient intimacy”. The term "ambient intimacy" conjures in my mind some dimly lit room, in some dank bar on the wrong side of town, to which we only go to participate in clandestine affairs and shady financial transactions. Is ambient intimacy just a cheap facsimile to the "real" thing? Or has real, face-to-face intimacy just become too bothersome, problematic and messy for us to endure it anymore? When did we become so busy that we no longer enjoy each other in human terms? Often, in retaliation to these kinds of insights I am reminded about how social media connects us on levels and in ways never possible before. We can Skype with someone a country away, send a text to someone in Australia or New Zealand after all, right? What’s the problem? So, yeah, what is the problem, I ask myself? Mostly, these things require no effort or thought much like a lot of the posts on Facebook (Oh the bitter irony, as I recognize this also includes my ramblings and insights). Communication has become a race to the bottom commodity that requires little thought and even less effort.
Has anyone else started to realize that hearing someone’s voice has often become tedious and we would much rather they just send us a text? Has the "bubble of me" just become too comfortable for most of us? Does all that connects us really just serve to disconnect us from our relations to one another? Ultimately, social media is not going anywhere, anytime soon. If we are to play nice with social media, how do we not lose the fundamental connection to each other in the information highway ether? I still am stumped as far as these three particularly vexing questions: 1. Are the interactions we encounter through online websites, social media and smart phones real? 2. Are these online interactions just the illusion of intimacy and connection? 3. If ambient intimacy grants us the ability to be hyper-connected why do I so often find myself so paradoxically disconnected? I am seriously worried about this trend and I have no idea how to reconcile the human experience with the digital age.Maybe Google has an answer to these questions because I sure don’t??
