When i was much younger, i dreamt of a fairy tale life. I imagined waking up with a smile everyday, face the odds, be my best, get all attention and get it all smooth like a smoothie. I imagined having great friends that would be by my side till death do us part. I imagined finding "the one", get degrees together, build it up together. All these imaginations I had years ago..... I built my world in my head.
Today life laughs at me....i'm a victim and a victor at the same time. I cross one hurdle,another one comes. I am surrounded by friends yet the silence is so loud. I have more reasons to cry than to laugh. I have this strong faith in this big being....he assures yet i am afraid. I love and trust, being a fool like the world would say , i get hurt, yet willing to be a fool again. I only smile because i am supposed to...not because i am genuinely happy. Maybe I have found the one. He's in rags...disorientated, burdened and in shame. The world tells me to go after a made man, who has it all working for him. Am I supposed to trade love and a chance to love genuinely, true and pure, not looking at the outside...am I supposed to trade that for material and lust? What is life really?
Should I protect myself by building my walls or simply enjoy one of the hurts of life? What will I say when I grow old? " damn i enjoyed life" or " i wish i had taken my chances"?? what is life putting up at me?
A lost and confused soul.
