For the next few days after my second rape incident with Zack, i became another person entirely. I would sit and stare afar, lost in my thoughts, the worst of all kind of nightmares. I forgot who I was, I became a mirage. I had stopped praying, I felt God hated me and just wanted me to feel pain, but for what crime exactly? I had no more strength to cry, no one to talk to, I was stuck with myself and conflicting thoughts. Zack had still tried to contact me, I left his texts un replied and his calls unanswered. I isolated myself from my family and became more of a ghost to everyone and to myself.
It had barely been two weeks when i received a call from this guy I had met at Zack's party. His name was Johann and he was Zack's best friend. Funny, he called to check up on me which was a bit delusive to me but....he wasn't Zack and the last thing I was going to do was to push all anger on him.
"so Juliet, i'd love to see you again" He dropped.
Okay so your friend has used and dump me now it's your turn abi? I though but then i answered. " what for?"
I just wasn't in the mood and i didn't want to cut the call. He seemed nice.
"I like you Juliet.".......I said nothing.
" okay, I want to have a relationship with you. Zack told me all about you and....."
"Zack what?!" my pulse was rising, i was on edge.
"Calm down Juliet, He told me you are really nice and that you needed a real guy to take care of you and i've always liked you since i saw you at Zacks place. I do want to have a real relationship with you, take it however but i'd rather be blunt and sincere. I like you and I want you to be my girl friend. I'd do anything to win you over. You look delicate and just very far away and I want to be your comfort zone."
"i'm not single" I replied. "and i can take care of myself" i added.
" You can't push me away with that excuse."
see this one oh, i don't want is it by force? I thought to myself.
"Look, i'm not in the mood to talk about all this, I don't want to be in any relationship especially with you. I do not like you, and I will never Johann. Please leave me alone. " I dropped the call and put off my cell phone. I was pissed. First one used me, then the other is coming to use me.* What kind of savagery is this?*
Moments later, I calmed down and i felt a twinge of guilt for putting Johann off like that, but II was protecting myself. It didn't take long, I received another call from...... Guess who...Diane. After the party at her boyfriend's house, she had become my friend. She just didn't stop calling and texting and wanting to get all up in my business. She was kind, sweet, affectionate and just always there. She obviously didn't know anything and I didn't want to look bad. I didn't have any strength, but she wouldn't leave me alone!!.
"hey babe, whats up, how you been?" she sounded excited.
"hi Diane,.... I'm okay, just managing life.Whats' happening now?"
"i'm not fine oh, you are whats happening" she dropped,
My heart skipped a beat."uhm...why?...... whats wrong?"
"You blew of Johann." she said.
PHEW! "You have gotta be kidding me right now. Johann? He reported me to you?"
she laughed.
"NO silly! Look, he told Zack and I he liked you and well, we told him to shoot his shot. You're a nice pretty girl and we think you both would make a great couple...BESIDES he's been single too long and all four of us together would be a good idea." my stomach began to ache, my head began to bang....the sudden urge to want to use the toilet came.
" I see......" so my thought was, neither Johann nor Diane knew what Zack had done.....and Zack was also pushing me to Johann? Why?
after the long pause..." just be nice with him please. agree to go on just one date with him and if you still don't like him by then, I won't push it. Have a great day dear." she dropped the call.
I shook my head...obviously puzzled and shocked and every other confused feeling.
I didnt know what was coming.
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