I don't know too much about tech like the professionals I see who play with those mixed-colour, jam-packed words in a coding format, but I know the basics—such as how to use phones, the internet, and different sites and apps. This lifestyle has exposed and sold me a lot because I usually find myself in places where the people there are blunt and don't know anything about tech, including highly educated men and women. Even now that I am far away from some of them, such as the bosses I served under when I was in the village—they still call me whenever they're having difficulties accessing something on the internet or an app, and I always come through for them.
One particular evening—it was a Wednesday and I had just returned home from church—I received a call from one of the bosses I served while I was still in the village. This boss was a good grammarian and well educated, but he lacked the ability to associate well with people. When I was working under him, he showed me 'pepper' a lot and to make it more surprising, he was among the pastoral team of our church. Very Holy Spirited man!
"Kingsley! Kingsley! I'm searching for a file that was sent to me on WhatsApp, but I can't find it and I'm sure I didn't delete it. I don't know how to get it back, and I can't ask the person to send it again because ehh... because ehhh..." He shouted my name as he usually did; he didn’t even ask how I was doing and went straight to table his problem in a very rushed manner, as if he borrowed N50 airtime from MTN. The last part of his explanation was something I understood, even though he stammered and didn't finish his sentence—it was obvious a higher boss sent him the file and he dared not ask them to resend it.
"Okay sir, that means I need to access your file manager from here, because if we do it by mere direction, we might still be on this till next tomorrow. Please let’s switch to video call and share screen."
He agreed and hung up, and before I could even flip my phone, his WhatsApp video call popped up.
I immediately picked and switched the camera to rear view because I wasn’t ready to show my face. Once he sees my face, he would abandon what we were doing and start asking me when I’m getting married.
After going through what felt like a further mathematics class, I succeeded in showing him how to share his screen. I directed him to his file manager. He was very humble, responding to all my commands, and I wasn’t surprised—that’s how he behaves whenever he’s being assisted by a tech-savvy person.
When we got to his files, I had this feeling to lead him astray first before heading to the WhatsApp folder. I don’t know what prompted me, but I just had the urge.
I went on and directed him to all the “Download” folders. We opened them one after the other, searching for the WhatsApp photo that was sent to him. Deep down, I knew exactly what I was looking for...I was looking for that thing that's in every human's file
Miraculously, we got to the "UC Download" folder. I instructed him to open it, and when he clicked, all the files there were videos. Miraculously again, the thumbnails of the videos were showing—and immediately he realised he had gotten to his private zone, he quickly turned back.
“Sir, please open the folder again—yes, the UC Browser one,” I quickly commanded with a touch of a begging tone because I had just found what I was searching for.
“You mean that folder? No, nothing is there,” he said.
“Yes, that folder. I’m sensing the photo is there.”
He agreed and opened the folder. The thumbnails on the video files were showing in shabbily form. I instructed him to open one of the files, and behold, a s3x clip popped up and began to play.
You needed to see the way he suddenly transformed into an employed staff of an Android company—he quickly went back and switched off the screen share.
The whole thing amazed me, and I was in deep laughter. I saw his face on the camera—he didn’t know where to hide it. When he could no longer pretend, he simply ended the call with, “Kingsley, thank you.”
I laughed so hard that night!
Thanks for reading.
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