Some weeks back I wrote about how tired I was, and how it was exhausting writing every day. Today I am here to rant about the price of success. So far I feel I am on a good part, but then the road there is looking even more treacherous than I bargained for. Last month I finished my first major app and I have been super excited, as I write this post I’m on the verge of finishing my first AI agent, but then it has had me mentally and emotionally exhausted even before its lunch. I plan on launching it tomorrow and I’m currently in the last testing phase but it has brought a lot of hassle that I never bargained for.
Image by wayhomestudio on Magnific
First of all, the creation of back to back software has left me emotionally unavailable to my loved ones and it has become a real course of concern. It is not because I wish to be emotionally unavailable, but because I can not just afford to be emotional right now. If you are good with software development you would understand how difficult and mind bugging it can be. This is an emotion no one around me understands at the moment, they probably think that all I do is press the computer and thus I am not really doing anything. They expect me to give advice when necessary and be actively involved in family matters, but right now, I just can not afford to be.
Secondly I have been financially drained. To be honest I think this is even worse than the first because this is another thing I can not really talk about publicly. Yet I must always give from the little I have. With less than 24 hours to my lunch I need even a penny I can get, and I can only hope that what I have is enough. I really need the support of my loved ones right now, but they are too angry to even look at me, so I have to do this by myself. To be honest I just think this is the price I have to pay and hope we settle all these later.