I have had some commendable experiences in my life, most of the times, I have been commended for work and that is because of how much effort I put into it.
However there was a time when I let the commendations I was getting at work get into my head it wasn't long I started dropping really fast. I would make silly mistakes at work, I moved from being that creative and active personality to a dumb ass employee. This was one of the lowest points of my life and I knew I needed to step up my game if I were to keep my job. I started by finding my self again after I was giving a week suspension for my neglecting my duties. I remember going home that day angry with myself, it was as though I lost my vibe and the creative touch that made me unique and I wasn't going to continue like that. When I began to search within myself, it was evident that I was suffering from something I call misplaced Identity syndrome 馃槀. I had forgotten who I was which led to me seeking for consideration of people and caring too much about how they thought of me. I was trying to be more of what they wanted me to be instead of being a better version of me.
It wasn't long after I rediscovered myself that I started doing everything to be better again. While I was suffering from the misplaced Identity syndrome, it was hard to do continue on certain routines that ensured I was disciplined, like waking up early to read books. Conducting research on things I had little or no understanding of, and even my regular morning exercises, I figured these things were do simple to do for me when I tried to be a better version of me, but was hard when I wanted to be someone else. So I started by telling my self positive things and seeing myself in a positive way, every morning I will look at myself in the mirror and tell my self things like;
Kelvin you are creative
You are not a failure, you are a success
You are doing the right things at the right time.
The lines are fallen unto you in pleasant places
When I came back to work, everyone saw the change in me no one was trying to advise me on what they taught I would have done better because I was doing things the kelvin way, and kelvin was improving rapidly. At first I wasn't even aware of the change I was making until it was my birthday and my boss alongside other employees decided to celebrate me for a Job well done. This was when it dawned on me that the greatest commendation and reward is that which you give your self, if you see yourself a failure because others see you as that, then you will definitely fail. But once you see yourself as someone to be admired even though no admires you at the moment, it's sure you will make decisions that will one day make others admire you.
