SCARED

You gain strength, courage, and confidence from every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
Eleanor Roosevelt

I have this theory that I think to be true, it says; every human on earth at a point in their lives had hoped for a future so bright, what ever the results of that hope are, not Minding the depending factor the hope was drawn form, there would always be a breaking point which would make the person give up knowingly or un-knowingly or succeed and find something else to hope for. But whether one succeeds or fail is dependant on their fear factor and how they deal with it.

I have seen a lot of people around me try and fail in a lot of things, and it's quite easy to conclude that it's not easy for a person to rise from just being an average human being. I must confess I look at people with intellects and know I could be more than I have become, I could even be more than they have become, but I'm still limited in certain things. I believe that time and chance happen to people, but then when time and chance lack preparedness, it will just be a waste. And that's what I'm afraid I don't have.

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If there's anything I'm scared of, is being unprepared for anything. Be it exams, a little speech to a group of people, meeting new people and talking with them, or even writing. I want to be always prepared and stay on top of my game as I wait for my chance, but then I'm scared that I waste time in some places. Today was the matriculation for new students in my school, as school president, I was tasked with less than a week's notice to prepare for logistics for the occasion. Although the occasion ended up fine, I would admit I panicked at every single point in the preparation, because I was thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong that I haven't prepared for. From reception to the weather condition up to students showing up for their own matriculation. I hate working under pressure, but I often find myself a lot of the time under pressure because I lack preparedness. So I'm Always afraid that my unpreparedness wouldn't cost me something tangible in the future.

I have tried so many times to tackle it with discipline, but knowing myself, I strive more with an accountability partner by my side, I love working with a team and growing. But I think I'm not disciplined enough, so having someone disciplined to work with will do me a lot of good. I'm also afraid of my strength when I get into a cruise mood, it's usually hard to stop me, I hardly see my mistakes when I'm in that mood and I go all in at risky times. Another reason I need an accountability partner who I can trust to always put me on track. Perhaps I don't need an accountability partner, how then do I become more productive...

Thanks for stopping by my blog today, until next time